User:EditWarCriminal
EditWarCriminal is here to engage in honorable combat with the nefarious vandal empire. Unlike other editors, EditWarCriminal is not bound by this thing you humans call "morals". There will be no traces of mercy, hesitation, or inhibition in their modus operandi. Make one wrong move and prepare to face the full wrath of all the horrors that are barely within human comprehension.
List of Edit War Crimes perpetrated by the EditWarCriminal
[edit]Revert Nuke of 2009
[edit]The Revert Nuke of 2009 reverted every single edit ever made in a fraction of a second, with no justification for its use, immediately sending the website back into the dark ages. Thankfully, someone was able to revert the revert nuke before widespread shock and awe ensued.
Article Hostages of 2010
[edit]In 2010, EditWarCriminal downloaded a copy of then irreversibly deleted all records of the 100 level 2 vital articles from Wikipedia's servers and demanded a ransom for the articles' safe return. The ransom of $35 USD was quickly paid and the articles were returned within five minutes.
Unethical Biological Experimentation
[edit]In 2014, it was discovered that, since 2011, EditWarCriminal had been growing thousands of mushrooms in their basement, each of them hooked up to a grand mycelial computing network, all of them assigned their own Wikipedia accounts, specifically cultivated to be the perfect soldiers, fighting edit wars on EditWarCriminal's behalf. The mushrooms were confiscated and given whatever the mushroom equivalent of therapy is.
Mass Article Transfer of 2015
[edit]EditWarCriminal swapped the Main and Talk namespaces in 2015. The admins were unable to easily revert all the article movements, so they just renamed the Talk namespace to Main and vice versa. To this day, these two article spaces are technically swapped.
Unethical Prisoner of Edit War Treatment
[edit]EditWarCriminal has, on several occasions, banished certain Wikipedia accounts to the Shadow Realm after they had violated the three-hundred revert rule. Wikipedians who have managed to escape the Shadow Realm describe a lifeless void with nothing but the screams of all-caps keyspam edits echoing endlessly, and seeing nothing but hallucinations of other Wikipedians reverting all the edits they had ever made, one by one.
The Doomsday Device
[edit]EditWarCriminal has been rumoured to be developing an unholy abomination of a diff patrolling interface fueled by nothing but the corpses of indefinite blocks and the woeful tears of vandals. EditWarCriminal's only statement on these rumours is that "a tool that bridges the gap between software and hardware is closer than you think," and the original message also seems to have been a test of said tool, as viewing the source text causes the rendering computer's CPU to overheat so quickly that the computer automatically shuts down within two seconds. Vandals everywhere have been warned to think twice before they set foot on the territory of the EditWarCriminal.
