The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20070202024329/http://webjunk.tv:80/
TOP CLIPS TODAY
Robot Arm Just For Useless Fun
Manning Family Hoedown
Jeff's Golden Obsession
The Universe Is Stupid
Real Funny, As*holes!
February 1, 2007
CELEB JUNK: Tyra Banks is Viral, and Fat
For a long time, all Tyra Banks had to do for attention was strap on a bikini once a year and pray Sports Illustrated stayed in business. Now that those days are over, she has resigned herself to hosting proposterous talk where she discusses assanine topics and exploits herself. The above clip of her going off on her own recent weight problem has been posted in several different incarnations and is the 10th and 11th most popular postings on Vidmeter.
This week the Viral Gods have conspired to put the women who was once the only supermodel with boobs atop the internet clip-watching world. A recent show she hosted that was probably called 'PUT DOWN THAT JOYSTICK OR I WILL PUT YOU DOWN' accounts for the 18th and 21st most popular videos on Blogpulse.
Now if she were only fatter, smarter and her eyes were spread apart like a cow she would be Oprah.
This video reminds us here at Web Junk.tv of how much we love dropping beats and bringing crazy bottom end with some booming bass sounds from our systems during the one hour a week our bosses actually let us step away from our computers. Of course, we also love trying to sound as if we have an ounce of street cred by using ridiculous phrases like the ones we just used.
The bass system in this video may be powerful enough to make this hottie's hair go flying around but we just can't take a system seriously unless it has the power to rupture our spleens or cause a miscarriage.
Do you ever wonder where you Dad goes when he says he is "taking a drive"? Well, thank Dateline's own Chris Hansen for the answer. Pops is seeking out underage girls or boys (oh man) for illicit sex and Dateline is making a killing off of it. From the creators of What Else is On comes this funny parody of the phenomenon we've come to know as To Catch a Predator.
The workday is creeping closer to the end, so if you've had a hard day, make sure to rest that weary head of yours and drift on off to dreamland when you get home. Just make sure you don't get your ear lodged in Billy Dee Williams' mouth.
NEWS JUNK: The Viral Ad Prank A-holes Behind Meatwad, Frylock, and Shake
Authorities charged Sean Stevens and Peter Berdovsky on Thursday with planting battery-powered advertising signs for Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force that were mistaken for bombs and caused Boston's biggest scare since Bucky Dent. The two men are really a bunch of disrespectful jerks. The devices they used look an awful lot like the old toy Lite Brite. Funny, no one in New York seemed to notice similar devices planted around Manhattan because they were too busy being angry and rushing.
Investigators are also looking into charges against apologetic Turner Broadcasting and the marketing firm they used to pull this garbage off. Now that the crime has been committed it seems the viral tactic worked. Yesterday's security scare triggered by this "guerrilla" marketing campaign is all the buzz and has spurred both these popular videos. No publicity is bad publicity. Gosh, all this over a milkshake, a floating order of fries and a meatball who should be safeguarding the world .
We here at WebJunk.TV rarely get all political or scientific, but there has been a rash (not the kind that your sister has) of weirdo Creationist videos out there. The Creationists do not believe in Evolution and while they seem harmless enough they make up a huge scary voting demographic. Anyway, this clip is from a presentation by noted ologistNeil deGrasse Tyson from the Hayden Planetarium. In his presentation he explains why these nuts are way off. A note to all you aspiring ologists, you may actually learn something.
WEB NEWS JUNK: Mark Erickson Fools the Web and Recuts Happy Days
Nearly a week ago a YouTube user named Mark Erickson posted a video that supposedly revealed a trick that could get you an invite to Google's soon-to-be GoogleTV service. He put together a presentation including screengrabs and tricked a lot of nerds into repeatedly logging in and out of Gmail. It turned out to be a prank, much like some other video instructionals he's put out there, including one on boosting your Wi-Fi signal (we fell for it). The GoogleTV piece was so popular it made our Cream of the Crap and topped a number of YouTube's lists and viral charts.
It turns out this Erickson character has something to do with FatalFarm, the same folks who made the Golden Girls Cookie Head video that reinvigorated our love of the gals. God are these guys good and they maintain a nice trail of lies -- maybe they are married! The above Happy Days intro they mashed together also had us "peeing in our pants" as a gaggle of laughing young women might say.
Jeff Gregorsok stars as Jeff Jenkins, a guy whose life is owned by his infatuation with WebJunk fave the "Golden Girls." Isn't there a little Jeff Jenkins inside everyone of us? And if so, did you at least make him buy you a drink first?
There may be a quality quarterback gene in the Manning family bloodline- jury is still out on Eli- but after watching this clip we think you'll agree there also seems to be a big time country singing chromosome in the family as well. This performance was from the Barnstable Brown Gala on Kentucky Derby Eve in 2006 which is always one of the hottest celebrity parties of the year.
Even though the Mannings are all in tuxedos, when we hear them mangling the country favorite "You Don't Even Call Me by My Name" in their drunken Southern drawl, we tend to believe they probably aren't wearing any shoes. Good news is this event was for charity. We're actually just jealous because they seem to be having WAY more fun than we are right now.
Dave probably wishes he was turning 25! That said, tonight's Late Show marks a quarter century of Letterman doing entertaining evening shows. Bill Murray, who was the first guest on both Late Night and Late Show will be on hand to celebrate. We thought we would honor Dave by showing you some of our favorite show moments. We will do 10 in a list format and will forever refer to it as our Top 10 list.
10. Dave tests out a suit of high-powered magnets on a GE refrigerator (Nov. 25, 1986)
8. Dave makes the world's biggest "plop-plop fizz-fizz" and almost suffocates to death from carbon dioxide poisoning in an insane Alka Seltzer Suit. (Sept. 9, 1984)
7. Wearing a Velcro suit, Dave flies into a wall covered in tennis ball material (Feb 28, 1984)
6. On his first show back after 9/11, Letterman made some touching comments in his extended monologue and did a heartfelt interview with once-known commodity, newsman Dan Rather. (Sept. 17, 2001)
5. A younger, less bloated Drew Barrymore flashes her extremely bloated funbags at Dave. This blogger was working the audience as a CBS page at the time. It was memorable, take our word for it (Jan. 27, 1996)
4. Crispin Glover showed up high on acid and wearing even higher shoes (which he nearly kicked Dave in the face with). See Dave get pissed as he's forced to play second fiddle. (July 28, 1987)
3. Back in the day when Madonna's second career was pissing people off, Dave was no exception. Take a look the aging diva when she was still holding on to her glory and not clutching her Kaballah bible. Here, she shocks everyone with a cruse-laden tirade where she drops some kind of bomb 13 times in a few brief moments. (March 31, 1994)
2. Cher playfully calls Dave an A-hole; he is stunned! No video here but the transcript says it all (May 22, 1986)
1. Wrestler Jerry Lawler attacks comedian and aspiring wrestler Andy Kaufman in a nugget who's authenticity has been doubted to this day ... much like everything Kaufman did. (July 28, 1982)
HONORABLE MENTION: The episode where Paul Schaeffer gets high before the show. Oh wait, that's every night.
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That said, we're sorry we haven't been able to bring you the relentless updates you've grown used to. Now take this opportunity to read this exciting explanation of what a 503 error is.
At least when we experience technical difficulties we don't look as stupid as these tools from WCSH in Bangor, who are covering the takeoff of a transatlantic balloon flight.
In the film "Bananas," Woody Allen played a frazzled tester of offbeat office products named Fielding Mellish. In this increasingly popular clip from Break, we see a weird re-creation of Allen's role, as a gathering of loopy co-workers from FANUCRobotics weld a fancy car seat to a powerful robotic arm at their warehouse and have some fun as they violently spin office moron Dave around and laugh as they torture him.
Place your vote for the greatest internet star of all time. Be sure to check out the results on VH1's 40 Greatest Internet Superstars on April 6th at 8pm. VOTE NOW!
Is there a clip you can't find? Is there a clip you would like to know more about? Is there anything about the internet video that you just don't understand?
