Caption Paris

Filed under: Caption It , Paris Hilton

(Flynet)

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Posted by: Lauren Burch

Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force Attacks Boston With Marketing Scheme (Literally. There Were Bomb Squads And J. Harvey Couldn't Even Get Off at His Freeway Exit. Assholes.)

Filed under: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Ok, so the Cartoon Network thought they'd try a "guerilla graffiti" campaign for their cartoon in several cities across the country this past week. And I guess the cartoon is pretty funny and ironic. Except when Bostonians don't realize the devices being placed around the city on BRIDGES and OVERPASSES that have EXPOSED WIRES, BATTERIES, and LED READOUTS are supposed to quirky . And bitches (subway workers and old ladies who don't get irony and hipster cartoons and faux-hipster marketing) start calling the police. And traffic gets stalled for hours. And the mayor freaks the f*ck out. It was anarchy!

Anyway, Turner Broadcasting got two starving artist dupes to put these things up all over the city, and all hell broke loose. Boston's kinda paranoid post-9/11.

The deployment of scores of state, federal, and Boston police specialists, from bomb experts to terrorism analysts, exceeded $500,000, according to Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino.

While police responded to the episode with swiftness and gravity, some Bostonians, especially younger adults, were amused by the spectacle and suggested authorities overreacted. But [DA Martha] Coakley said the placement of the devices, on key infrastructure points, like highway ramps and under bridges, alarmed even seasoned investigators.

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Posted by: J. Harvey

Tim Gunn is the New Muse for Claiborne

Filed under: Designers , Fashion , Fashion Fix , Tim Gunn

The Liz Claiborne family welcomes my favorite fussy fashionista to the clan. William L. McComb, chief executive officer, made an appointment with Tim Wednesday evening to discuss the move. Gunn will step down as chair of the department of fashion design at Parsons. I know what you are thinking, "Project Runway" will collapse without him and his clever repartee and backhanded compliments. Have no fear, he will stay on as taskmaster to steer the next brood of designers down the runway to fame.

The entire process of snagging Gunn began with a suggestion by a fellow employee. The suggestion then led to the recruitment that now has landed him as "creative dean" for the company. The goal is to insure the design of the Claiborne community. The contract doesn't highlight a time frame, but William assures us it's a "long term deal." Gunn's first day will be March 5th.

Thank God, because I think there would be rioting in the streets if Tim left "Project Runway." Well at least a strongly worded letter of disappointment filled with grammatical errors from the desk of Cara anyway.

(Image source)

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Posted by: Cara Harrington

Slimy Dude Reports on Paris vs. Tara in Bed

Filed under: Joe Francis , Paris Hilton , Tara Reid

That skeevy guy Joe Francis who runs Girls Gone Wild went on Howard Stern yesterday and compared Paris Hilton to Tara Reid in the sexual arena . First of all, this guy needs to go to a nuclear reactor and set off the personal plutonium detector and get his ass scrubbed down with wire brushes and lye like they did to Meryl Streep in Silkwood. Can you imagine the critters hopping all over him? Chances are there were already quite a few even before he got with those walking sperm receptacles. Anyway, he picked Paris as the "winner" and notice I use that in quotes.

When Stern asked Francis who gave the best oral sex, he responded, "Paris is the best ... Paris is amazing in bed ... better than anyone." Go figure.

As for the worst, Joe said it was Tara Reid, but couldn't quite, er, put his finger on why. Robin asked, "Does she just lay there?" and he said, "Yeah, pretty much."

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Posted by: J. Harvey

Anderson Cooper Compared to Famous Slag

Filed under: Anderson Cooper , CNN , FOX , Paris Hilton

Fox News is bagging on Anderson Cooper by comparing him to Paris Hilton . Ouchie. A recent magazine ad features Cooper from behind being photographed by the paps, and the copy reads "Meet the Paris Hilton of Television News". Double ouchie. Once you get the moniker of cheesy in TV journalism, you're kinda over. Compare Peter Jennings to Geraldo Rivera. CNN combats the marketing mischief via their spokesbitch:

A CNN flack called Fox's ad an "act of desperation because Greta's audience has been eroding and 'Anderson Cooper 360 Degrees' is getting closer. This is a sign they are starting to panic." The rep also denied CNN had spent tens of millions to hype Cooper, but wouldn't say what it has doled out.

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Posted by: J. Harvey

Remains of the Day: Jacko's Kids Unmasked

Filed under: Michael Jackson , Remains

• Photographers caught Michael Jackson's children without their veils and freaky masks. The kiddos are surprising normal and cute-looking. [CW]
• Scarlett Johansson has been replaced as Woody Allen's current obsession; the director chose Penelope Cruz to star in his next as-yet-unnamed film. Shooting is expected to begin sometime this summer. [SOW]
• Justin Timberlake might just be the luckiest dude alive: according to Life & Style Weekly, JT is currently dating both Jessica Biel and ex-flame Alyssa Milano. [INO]
• Speaking of Paris Hilton, she had the lamest fake ID in the history of lame fake ID's. The socialite's teenage fake ID stated her name as "Paris Whitrey Hilton," which is almost correct, but not really. [WWTDD]

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Posted by: Alyk

Britney Actually Working on Her Album

Filed under: Britney Spears

(X17online.com)

Britney has flown to Vegas to work with a hot producer to record some hot tracks so she can release a hot album so that she can:

Choose your own quip!

A) afford panties
B) afford to construct her own synagogue now that she's fake-Jewish
C) afford to keep up repairs on her animatronic baby Jayden, because I don't think he's real

Fun!

Anyway, Brit's working with "Dr. Luke" Gottwald on her album which is supposed to drop this fall. Gottwald is the one who made sure every single Kelly Clarkson ever recorded got on the radio for an eternity. He's also worked with Avril Lavigne and Pink. Brit's working with him at the Palms Resort's private recording studio. You can go drinking, gambling and clubbing and then cut a hot track back at your hotel? Are you shitting me? That's fantastic. Oh, you can get robbed, too, by a crackhead hooker. Trust me. Keep your wallet in your front pocket, Britney. That's if you're wearing pants. You whore.

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Posted by: J. Harvey

Bloomies, Penney's, and Macy's Brace Themselves

Filed under: Accessories , Clothing , Designers , Events , Fashion , Fashion Fix , Fashion Shows , Fashion Week , Michael Kors , Style , Tommy Hilfiger

Fashion Week is finally upon us. Bryant Park will be home away from home for many designers and models as it will be the mecca for shows. Perry Ellis will be one of the highlights for the first set of designers to take the stage at the promenade at 1:00 pm. Nicole Miller will follow and end the evening at 7:00 pm. Party and personal celebrations will surely follow and fill the rest of the evening.

The rest of the week will cater to designers of all walks of life. Oscar de la Renta will show on Monday. Michael Kors and (one of my favorites) Peter Som will show on Wednesday. But what the retail stores are counting on is the shows that have lines streaming onto shelves of department stores. Donna Karan and her DKNY line are expected to heat up interest. Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Ellen Tracy and Tracy Reese are all showing and stores are ready for the masses. Business Week reports that Penney's is proud to, "exclusively offer a new brand called American Living that includes merchandise, intimate apparel, accessories and home products. The brand is the first created by Polo Ralph Lauren's Global Brand Concepts."

Keep your eyes peeled for more fashion week coverage. everyday. I will be covering two shows everyday (including this weekend) for your couture enjoyment.

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Posted by: Cara Harrington

Whose Got the Craving For Some McDonalds

Filed under: Guess Who

Find out after the jump (and no, it's not Britney).

Continue reading after the jump

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Posted by: Lauren Burch

Beauty Buzz: M-A-C Cosmetics Names Raquel Welch A Beauty Icon

Filed under: Beauty Buzz

M-A-C Cosmetics has named Raquel Welch as its fourth M-A-C Beauty Icon. Raquel helped design a new M-A-C color collection, which will be available this month online at www.maccosmetics.com and in M-A-C stores everywhere! Raquel is M-A-C's fourth Beauty Icon and is overjoyed that she was asked to be their face for 2007!

The Raquel Welch Beauty Icon Collection is packaged in a fun tiger-print pattern. Jennifer Balbier, Senior Vice President of Product Development at M-A-C Cosmetics stated that Raquel's Icon Collection "was created and designed around Raquel's love for shading and her ability as a makeup artist." Who better to represent a company than a woman with a real passion for makeup and diversity like Raquel? Ms.Welch is an international film star, whose exotic beauty makes her a perfect fit for the cosmetics company--she totally exemplifies the brand!

Continue reading after the jump

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Posted by: Christy Pastore

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