• MollyGood answers Nerve.com's sex-ionnaire, with great tips on how to make your sex tape Oscar-worthy.

• Because the H&M;/Madonna collabo worked so well the first time, they're gonna do it again.

• Proud papa and biz pioneer Joe Simpson whores out Jessica for $10k to be filmed reading a tabloid of your choice in Blonde Ambition.

• Liz Smith cries for Dakota Fanning.

• Si Newhouse expected to continue the grand tradition of dropping major pink slip bomb after the New Year with the canning of former Vanity Fair publisher and current group prez Mitchell Fox.

• Tim Gunn may have to pull out of Project Runway's fourth season for something called "job responsibilities."

• CNN celebrates one year of discovering broadband video.

• Time Warner chief Richard Parsons dumped Warner Music in '03, but first he backed up the catalog for his iPods.

$bull; 666 5th goes for $1.8b.

• E! trespasses on Brad Pitt's property. Brad Pitt's camp tattles to TMZ. [TMZ]

• Bill O'Reilly slams Oprah for not having any conservative (err, "traditionalist") guests on her show. In unrelated news, O'Reilly is doing Oprah's show. [Media Matters]

• Jack Shafer on newspaper staffers losing whole portions of their newsroom: "Eh." [Slate]

• That law President Clinton signed supposedly protecting children from harmful online content? Never been used. [AP]

• Jeffrey Sebelia may have won Project Runway, but that doesn't mean any stores are stocking his clothes. [FWD]

• MSNBC reduced to breaking news about Internet C-listers identities. [Gawker]

• Jon Friedman points to Time.com as evidence that the magazine industry is finally understanding the web. Our first (and last) clue, however, was ShopVogue.com. [Marketwatch]

• Project Runway racked up 5.4 million fags, fag hags, and their malteses for a ratings record-breaking finale. [AP]

• Recovering former ABC News anchor Bob Woodruff is putting together a primetime special and book about his Iraq war injury and recovery. Set to air next spring, it'll coincide nicely with another half dozen journalists kidnapped by then. [AP]

• The first substantial inkling that Jesse Oxfeld, in the lovely tradition of other ex-Gawker editors, carries on the source torch. [Gawker]

• GLAAD is keeping mum on the Mark Foley scandal so as to not elevate the voice of congressional pederasts and their sympathizers. [Queerty]

• Fame-seeking rapper Fabolous proves his namesake by posting bail with $15k in cash. [NYDN]

• O.J. Simpson nets $3.5 million to write a book where he only pretends to have killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. [Scoop]

• Project Runway's winner was neither the straight-but-gay black guy or the pregnant white mama. [AP]

• Meanwhile, Bravo insists its new interior design show Top Design is not a spinoff of Runway. The formats are so different, minus the celebrity hosts, designing theme, contestant eliminations, and prize package. [Radar]

• Heather Mills ramps up accusations against Paul McCartney, claiming he stabbed her with a broken wine glass. Yes, but did he spill a drop? [Daily Mail]

• Kirsten Dunst flirts up ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, only to be informed his allegiance lies with Lance and Matthew. [P6]

• Paris Hilton understands she's a box office flop; refuses to attend own movie premiere. [P6]

Now that summer is in full swing, it only means one thing. Well, two things. 1) Our unairconditioned environs are making us delirious, and 2) Reality TV is back! We forced Intern Calista to give up her nights that should be spent frolicking about with college aged folk to lock herself up inside watching college aged folk and adults who act like 19 year olds run around. You can now feel better about yourself knowing that this not your reality ... just your reality TV.

We've gotten a little picky concerning what we actually consider funny, and couldn't extrapolate 10 worthy quotes, so six bite will have to hold you down until we get One Ocean Drive. Bon Apetite!

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• Rich white media moguls partying together is as lame as you'd suspect. [NYP]

• Fox News has no interest in hiring Star Jones. Meanwhile, In Touch has no interest in verifying the information fed to it by Jones' rep. [Page Six]

• Speaking of In Touch's bastion of lies, now they're claiming Superman Brandon Routh has been offered a half mil to pose nude for Playgirl. [NL]

• Bonnie Fuller battles for her favorite tables with editorial expulsion. [Page Six]

• Some Project Runway contestants are on pins and needles. Others are under buses. [Gatecrasher]

• That creepy paparazzo who stalked Maddox at his daycare? Yeah, he's free to resume his pedophilic-type work. [E!]

• In case you're buffing up for online Jeopardy! here are 50 Celebrity facts you'll probably never need to know. [HON]

• Actually, Lindsay Lohan as Wonder Woman would be kind of hot. [Egostastic]

• Taking notes from Pete Doherty, Charlie Sheen talks to Alex Jones while doped up. [Page Six]

• Angelina Jolie signs Maddox up for Judo, and of course does some herself. Watch out Kate Moss, you may have to hand over your title. [Mirror]

• It's really not as exciting when British mags get new EIC's, but we guess because it's The Economist, and U.S. guy won. Cheers, John Micklethwait. [NYT]

• The long awaited store from a Project Runway reject, EMC², has finally opened. [VV]

• We don't care what it means. Honestly. Just please. Stop. Saying. It. [Got Detroit]

Oh, how we do miss Santino so very much. To fill the void, we had to adopt the cast of America's Next Top Model and Top Chef for this week's round-up. The Apprentice kids still manage to say to darndest things, and, 8th & Ocean gives us the bitchy ditziness that had been snatched along with our darling Project Runway.

Intern Molly has the top 10 quotes of the week, straight from the reality stars' wagging tongues.

10. "You know, there's nothing in life that's fair. Like some people would say it's unfair that Brent is here because Brent has been a complete disaster. You understand that, Brent?"—Donald Trump, Apprentice

9. "You look like you've gone to Dolly Parton School."—Simon Cowell to Kelly Pickler, AI

8. "Jesus is my maker and he is my husband."—Brit at Model's for Christ (sic) meeting, 8th & Ocean

7. "Taylor, your appeal is that you're like every dad who has ever got drunk at a wedding."—Simon, AI

6. "Whatever I make, it's gonna be sexy. It doesn't have to be dick. It doesn't have to be balls."—Cynthia, Top Chef

[More]

Last night was a real treat for Intern Molly, who fought a little less harder while we were tying her to a chair and ripping the remote away from her. Why? Because the premier of 8th & Ocean plus the finale of Project Runway is like our version of a Sharon Stone threeway.

Santino yelps his last cry for mommy, while we get just a tease from the latest fuckfest to hit your home screen. We know these TV personalities are totally unreal, but you're the ones that love love love to hate them! Top 5 of the week, after the jump.

10. "I think your last note booked your plane ticket home, sweetheart."— Simon Cowell to Melissa McPhee
"Nooooo" —Drunk Paula Abdul, AI

9. "Michael, you did a terrible job, I'll let you stay for one more task, and if you do poorly, you will be fired so fast your head will spin."—Donald Trump, Apprentice

8. "Brent seems like he has been in a psychiatric ward for too long and need attention."—Pepi, Apprentice

7. "There's not a lot of people I want to see in bathrooms. Well, the women perhaps, but not the men."—Donald Trump, Apprentice

6. "When I've got only just anus, everywhere, nice boo-tay, I'll call you, and you'll be like 'oh yeaaah.'"—Adrian, 8th & Ocean

[More]

• Bulimia is a handy little plot device — but we're over it. Today's most compelling stories need to focus on crack and lies to make for good reading material. [NYDN]

• Either there is secretly something wrong with Uma Thurman or she just keeps picking guys who won't settle down. [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is so determined to have the most babies in Hollywood, she doesn't even break for tummy tucks between spawns. [Page Six]

• Brad Pitt isn't man enough for Angelina Jolie. She would like a little more woman, too. [National Alleger]

• Beware of flying objects around Fashion Avenue; Santino may be still be throwing a fit over this season's Project Runway winner, Chloe Dao. [MSNBC]

And we're back, with this week's installment of "Reality (Sound) Bites" (cheers, clapping, yay!)

This week, Donald Trump's Apprentice bombed, so we're pretty sure you didn't see it. Which is way we are incoporating his fucktarded comments into our round-up this week.

From him to Santino (who just won't quit) to newly fired Apprentice people we bring the top 10 dumbass quotes from the reality which is our television. Well, Intern Molly's television, at least. (We've already had to call her mother and apologize for exposing her child to such foul and disgusting language for the sake of learning.)

10. "As I was showing Tim my line, I was thinking: 'Why isn't he saying more? Why isn't he piddling in his panties in excitement?'" — Daniel V., Project Runway

9. "You didn't make it by much, Tarek. Summer saved your ass with her own stupidity. Tarek is totally overrated." — Donald Trump, The Apprentice

8. "Chloe's line looks like a couch is coming at you." — Santino, PR

7. "I have loved this song since I was a little kid, which as most people say, wasn't all that long ago." — Lisa Tucker, 16, American Idol

6. "Shut up, Paula, you're really annoying me now. It's like being with some precocious child." — Simon Cowell, AI

[More]

What would we do wthout Intern Molly to watch all of this terrible television for us? This week, Project Jay was added into the Project Runway/American Idol mix, and things got just a little raunchy. But drunk Paula Abdul and retarded Heidi Klum always pull through ... even though somehow the contestants were more drunk and stupid than those two combined.

10. "Have you guys all been drinking? I want what they're having." – Santino, PR

9. "I have a tiny mouth. No wonder I can't get laid. People look at me and say: wow, his mouth is so small." – Jay McCarroll, PJ

8. "I feel like I'm watching a warm-up for Chippendales." – Simon Cowell to Gedeon McKinney, AI

7. "Those eyes. God bless you. Hello!" – Paula Abdul hitting on Ace Young, AI

[More]

We really don't know who the more talented contestants are: the ones on American Idol or the Project Runway folks. We do know that they are equally stupid and hilarious, though!

Intern Molly pulls this week's fabulous sound bites from America's top two Reality TV shows, and yes, the top 5 are after the jump. Oh, we just can not wait for 8th & Ocean to start.

10. "You can't keep a good cowboy down." – Eliminated Dude on Garet Johson, AI

9. "I made up a story about a very talented and brilliant designer who is kept hostage to only produce beautiful gowns for a very young, talented, ambitious diva." –Santino to Iman, PR

8. "It was incredibly challenging. On top of being nervous and having to go through all of that, having to work with someone who was … special." –Marcy Smith, AI

7. "Your dress is borderline boring, but I'm a little boring, so I will showcase it at a red carpet event." –Iman to Daniel V, PR

6. "That man would kill his young to get to the final three." –Kara on Santino, AI

[More]

Last night, after a Reality TV TiVo marathon, Intern Molly collapsed into a puddle of sparkle glue and spray-on tan. She's ok — we rushed over and revived her with the news that Nick Lachey and CaCee Cobb are possibly canoodling. (That woke her up fast.)

Unfortunately, she remembers nothing of the 20 hrs of TV she watched, and all we could extract from her Coca Cola covered notes were these quotes. Which were so hilarious, we are considering making a segment out of it.

We need another week to tap into all the best reality shows ever, but until then, here are the top 10 quotes of the week from Project Runway and American Idol. They may not be as inspirational as "Check Your Lettuce in the Coat Room," but they sure are funny.

Believe us, the #1 Santino quote is worth jumping for.

10. "At this point, it's every man for himself." – One of the Brittenum twins. Both twins currently reside in jail, where it is a little more Only The Strong Survive, than, say, American Idol. (Additional info on The Smoking Gun)

9. "For this challenge I could send down tassels and a zipper and still make it." –Daniel V., on his Project Runway immunity this week.

8. "Santino's always gotta be little somebody else." - Nick on Santino, PR

7. "Eating my own feces is the key to everything." - Santino.

6. "Great at a drunk party at the end, but not fantastic sober." –Simon Cowell, AI

[More]

Oh, the fabulous life of a Jossip intern. Being forced to watch the crazy reality TV shows that your superbulous editors wouldn't dare be caught dead DVR-ing. A quality education definitely pays off in the form of watching TV for Jossip, as Intern Molly can absolutely attest to.

Her captivating re-cap of the most gut-wrenching Project Runway yet is after the split, but we'll give you a little tease here: PR may induce a psycho-somatic brain process, forcing Matt Drudge and Jay McCarroll to cross paths in your mind's thought pattern.

The first five minutes of last week's Project Runway changed everything. Or so the promos would have you think.

Zulema, winner of the ice-skating competition and resident drama queen, decided that she preferred a walk-off over standing by her model ... which caused an outrage! (But, since everyone agreed that her model totally sucked, and changing was completely in her jurisdiction, I'm not sure exactly why.)

Then, she stole Nick's model. And half of the show was him crying hysterically, pulling his hair, and tattooing "stop crying bitch" on his wrist.

The traumatized designers were then sent on their task, which they were told would be based on "inspiration." Finally, we find the true meaning of fashion: New York City rats and gutter water. How did these contestants fare? Oh, you're so dying to know the rest.

[More]

Things are getting so super intense over at Project Runway, and Intern Molly's eyeballs are about to pop out of her head because of all the smut we've been forcing her to watch.

I's ok, though. She's actually slipped into a Reality TV coma by now, so she can't feel a thing.

Last night, between commercials for the winter Olympics and Skating with the Stars, Molly wasn't even really sure if she was watching the right show. But it was true — the contestants were forced to design ice skating outfits, thereby settling a lifelong quandary of Molly's: it is even physically possible to create a flattering, functional, and beautiful ice skating outfit?

The short answer, unfortunately, was no. But the long answer was, Jesus Christ those designs were hideous; what the hell were they thinking?

More of Molly's exclusive PR insight, plus the Santino breakdown that almost tops the first one. After the triple toe loop jump.

[More]

We know it's a little late, but last week was so full of crack, cross-dressing, and pole dancing, that we couldn't take ourselves away from Lindsay Lohan long enough to whip Intern Molly into shape. Now that we are totally geared up for this week's Project Runway, however, we realize we still need to bring you the recap of last week's episode.

Yes, while when you were too busy having some sort of life on Wednesday nights, Molly was glued to Bravo, watching closely and bringing us the play-by-play.

From Satino's craziness to great cat-fightage between Zulema and Kara, Bannana Republic pairs up with Heidi Klum to bring us some extra preppy fun. The competitors designing in pairs was the worst idea ever, but made for great reality TV. Molly's full recap, insider gossip, Michael Kors offenders and all ... after the jump.

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You so thought we were giving on our Project Runway recaps, didn'tcha? Well, we have to give Intern Molly something to do besides picking up our dry cleaning and calling our car service. So, we strapped her down again, and stuck toothpicks under her eyelids, and awaited the arrival of her PRW report.

With a real celebrity on this week's show and a promise to knock out two contestants next week, Molly was so excited over this episode that she ran around the apartment (still strapped to a chair) screaming Lupe's goin' down, bitch!

Ok, we made that last part up. But her summary is titillating and scrumptious and below:

Back from a few week hiatus, I'm ready to re-conquer these wannabe designers. (After Daniel Franco's self-sacrifice during the lingerie challenge, Yankee Model Swap once again failed to produce drama. When are these designers going to start stealing each other's models, for Christ's sake?)

For the challenge, this week's Project Runway again promised that the designers would be working with a famous personality. Last time it ended up being Barbie, so we wondered who this episode would feature, and if this alleged "socialite" would even be a real person this time. Ok, so Nicky Hilton isn't really a person, but she's sort of a personality. The challenge was to design the heiress a party dress.

Back at Parsons, Tim handed each designer a dossier with a letter from Ms. Hilton and two photos of her in party dresses. After, they were given half an hour to design and half an hour at the fabric shop before getting down to the sewing. And that's when everything went to shit.

After the jump, Molly continues with super highlights and drama to boot.

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