Things I Learned From SCBWI That Have Nothing To Do With Writing

...and everything to do with conferences in general.

1. Layers. Because even though SCBWI was in LA, it was not warm-- not even outside, most of the time. What is UP with that, LA?! Anyway, the rooms are cold. I spent the entire week freezing my buns off. One day I took a second shower just to warm up. (Yes, I know, that's a waste of water. I'm very sorry, Mother Nature. I was delirious from the cold.) But at the same time, some of the rooms got really hot, so I recommend warm-weather clothes worn under removable cold-weather clothes-- or else you removing your sweater will be awkward for the people around you.

2. Tea. I'm a tea snob, so I say, bring your own. Because most conferences have only coffee. SCBWI had tea bags, but they disappeared after 9AM. So if you're like me, and you drink 2 cups a day to prevent fatigue, pack a few and heat up water in the coffee maker.

3. Business cards. Bring them. I didn't have any, because I was like, what do I write on a business card? Veronica Roth: Writer, Just Like Everyone Else Here? Well, that wasn't a good move on my part. The card should just say your name, your blog address/web address, and your e-mail address. Nothing fancy is required, but it helps to keep in touch with the friends you make if they have your contact information on hand. Smoke signals are not effective over long distances.

4. Exchange phone numbers with friends beforehand. You might feel weird about it because you haven't met your Twitter/blog/facebook/message board friends in person yet, but it's handy. They probably aren't going to check Twitter while in the hotel lobby. Probably.

5. Get over that whole "but I don't want to be a creepy stalker!" thing. It may shock you to discover that I'm kind of reserved, and I have a hard time introducing myself to people, especially people like, say, Jay Asher. In fact, Kate Hart (who signed with Michelle Andelman, did you hear? CONGRATS KATE AND MICHELLE!) had to peek at his name tag, say, "Hey V! This is him!", and then drag me over to talk to him. Actually, I think Debra Driza might have done the actual dragging. But I'm so grateful. Because he was really cool, and my momentary feelings of awkwardness were worth pushing past. Anyway, the moral of the story is that there were great authors at SCBWI, and I don't think most of them mind if you want to say hi, introduce yourself, and tell them that you like their work, no matter how weird you may feel about it.

6. On a related note: talk to strangers. The good thing is, you have something in common with everyone at the conference: books. And while some people come with a group of buddies all lined up, a lot of people don't, and they will be happy you talked to them. Even people who come with friends aren't resistant to making new ones, most of the time.

7. Skip some sessions. If some seminars don't interest you, leave. Hang out with other writers who are skipping. Sometimes you learn more that way, and even if you don't, your brain probably needs a break, or writing advice will start oozing from your nostrils.

7. Bring a camera. I didn't take any pictures, and I'm sad.

8. Split a hotel room. It's much more cost effective. And roommates are fun.

Does anyone else have any conference survival tips?

Pre-Query Woes, Ctd.

(Yay, pretty layout! I swear I won't change it again for awhile.)

Let me first define the terms of our discussion:

Query Itch: the premature desire to query a work you are in the process of revising. This condition is often exacerbated by having other writers around you who are querying (and, in severe cases, getting buttloads of requests from said queries).

Query Salve: an imaginary cure for query itch that bears remarkable similarity to Burt's Bees Hand Salve (a farmer's friend).

Basically, here's the story: after Thanksgiving I started to write Divergent. I wrote Divergent until my hands almost fell off. Then I finished Divergent. I reread it. I made structural changes. I took the axe to it. I drafted a query letter. I sent my MS to betas.

(This timeline is INSANE for me, by the way. It took me a year to write TM. A YEAR. 40 days? What the HECK is that? Say it with me: This. Never. Happens.)

This post will be my official cure for the Query Itch.

Item 1: Betas

Let's say you just revised. You picked the writing apart. You picked the plot apart. You put everything back together again, as neatly as possible. Now when you look at your MS, you get a surge of pride and you think, "this is rather good. I think this is in tip-top shape." (I don't know why you've become a stuffy old British man from a Dickens film. Let's move on.) I have breaking news for you: you're wrong.

Maybe you're right that your MS is rather good, but it is not in tip-top shape, because you are wearing Post-Revision Blinders. When I stare at D right now, I wonder what on earth my critiques will be, because I see no problems. Well, of course I see no problems. If I had seen problems, I would have fixed them before I sent the MS to betas. But one thing I've learned is: the problems are there.

It's sort of like when you get a cold. The day before you have symptoms, the germs are still floating around your body, unseen and about to attack. When you get your beta comments back, that's called "getting symptoms." The betas will help you see the problems. And instead of fearing them, we must all learn to love them. They are making your MS stronger.

Item 2: Rumination

Writing is like preparing a steak. Believe it. You decide you want to marinate your steak. You put it in a marinade. The Query Itch is when you decide to remove your steak from the marinade after 3 minutes. Do you think the juices have sunk in? No! 3 minutes is not enough time!

Same thing with the MS. It needs to sit there in your brain for awhile. And no amount of re-reading it or scrutinizing it will speed up the process. You just have to wait until you have re-acquired your ability to be semi-objective about your own work again. I don't know how long that takes, but it's longer than two days, which is about the length of my writing attention span.

I read somewhere that after you write your query letter, you should let it sit for two weeks, because when you look at it again after that time, you'll realize things about it that you wouldn't have if you had just sent it right away. And you can't take a bad query letter back. Believe me, I know.

Item 3: Research

Finding an agent is like picking out grapefruit. (Everything at my blog is related to food, by the way.) At first glance, they all look pretty much the same. Maybe some are bigger or smaller than others, some are reddish and some are just yellow, some have weird brown spots that seem suspicious...but basically, it's a big pile of grapefruit. Now, do you just start shoving grapefruit into a bag and hauling it toward the checkout counter? Not if you're me, you don't. You stand there in the Whole Foods with a grapefruit in each hand, trying to figure out which one is heavier (because the heavier the grapefruit, the more juice it contains. My mother taught me that, I think).

And by "heavier," I mean "which one is right for you?" Because this isn't just someone who magically transforms your manuscript into a book. This person has to be compatible with you. They have to share your vision for your work. So, to stave off query itch: research. Find people you think you want to work with. Make a list. It will make you feel like you're getting ready, rather than developing a strange rash.

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So, there you have it. My personal cure for Query Itch.

Side Note: yesterday students at Northwestern organized a Conan O'Brien day that involved a bunch of people dressed as Conan gathering to do The String Dance. How hilarious is that?

Side Note: there is a cicada on my balcony. A dead one, but still: ew.

Side Note: Guess who's going to Backspace Writer's Conference in May? YES!

Have a lovely day, itchers.