Choosing the Future: Reflections on Forgiveness

What do a tipi, a pebble, a bell, a rhino, LEGO bricks, colourful scarves, and Be the Change cards have in common?

They all became part of a remarkable five-day journey at the Caux IDG Forum 2026 — co-led by Caux Initiatives of Change Foundation, Inner Development Goals, and the Alef Trust exploring the alchemy of forgiveness at the Caux Palace, where 200 adults and children came together to listen, reflect, question, and connect.

The forum created space for people to share stories from the heart—stories of pain, resilience, courage, and hope and a kaleidoscope of workshops, each exploring different dimensions of forgiveness. Together we experienced deep listening, silence, ritual, grief, tears, laughter, dancing, nature, thunderstorms, shared meals, joy, and honest conversations. It was about journeying together, a reminder that transformation happens not only through ideas, but through human connection.

What made the experience so powerful was not only the setting, but the values on which it was built. Caux Palace, home to Initiatives of Change, has for decades provided a space for dialogue, reconciliation, and peacebuilding, grounded in four values: unselfishness, purity, honesty, and love. These values were not simply historical ideals—they were lived throughout the forum, shaping how people listened, spoke, reflected, and connected with one another. You could feel the legacy of courageous conversations held within its walls and the belief that lasting change begins with inner transformation as much as external action.

An Indigenous Elder opened the forum with words that have stayed with me:

"The longest journey is from the head to the heart."

Each morning began at 7am with Indigenous Greeting the Day Ceremony, grounding us in gratitude, presence, and connection with nature, to the earth, sky, stars, fire, water, breath, birdsong, and one another. It grounded us before we explored a truth that is both deeply personal and profoundly collective: forgiveness often carries the weight of generations of pain and sorrow.

Throughout the week, powerful voices challenged my thinking.

Metin Arditi reminded us that forgiveness is neither an obligation nor a magic solution. It is a deeply personal journey shaped by memory, pain, and responsibility. "To forgive is also to rediscover a form of shared life." And: "Painful memories do not disappear by magic. They are gradually replaced by new memories: conversation, sharing and human connection."

Lewis Cardinal Cardinal offered a perspective I continue to reflect on: "If you cannot forgive, you cannot move forward." And perhaps most importantly: "Let the pain go, but keep the wisdom." Forgiveness is not forgetting.

Carl Manlan challenged us with poetry and powerful questions:

Forgiveness for what? What do you need to let go of? How much time do we spend understanding where pain comes from—and how it shapes how we show up for ourselves and others?

I had the privilege of co-facilitating one of the community groups, creating space for people to reflect together in smaller circles. Through grounding practices, breath, and simply being present, we made room for both pain and joy. We used Being at full potential cards to reflect and share.

Each of us received a pebble at the start of the forum. Like the pebble, we are shaped both by what lies within us and by the forces that act upon us. Our experiences, relationships, and societies all leave their marks. Yet those marks can also become places of wisdom.

The workshop with Mine Öztürk created a reflective space in which we encountered how a past experience continues to live within us—emotionally, cognitively, and somatically. The process emphasised psychological safety, autonomy, and self-regulation, allowing each of us to move at our own pace and within our own boundaries. I was very privileged to be paired with Seçil Baykara. My deep gratitude for holding the joint space for reflection and deep connection.

Forgiveness is often discussed with words, but rarely explored through experience. Özgür POYRAZOGLU invited us to reflect on forgiveness by building, sharing, and making sense of our stories through the LEGO® SERIOUS PLAY® method. Using Lego bricks simple and guided facilitation, we created a model representing our personal understanding of forgiveness. We then shared the stories of our models. It was an immersive, creative and fun.

Binti Marjadi Kooistra offered a simple yet profound insight that has stayed with me: "The past had a hold on me. If I wanted to live fully in the present, I needed to let go of the past." She spoke of choosing herself—not in a selfish way, but as an act of healing. Forgiveness, she reminded us, is not a destination but a direction, a conscious choice we make again and again. Those words challenged me to reflect on how often we allow past wounds to shape our present, and how choosing forgiveness can become an act of hope—for ourselves, our relationships, and the future we are trying to build.

Sometimes we carry our wounds like trophies, believing they define us. Yet forgiveness is ultimately for ourselves, not for the person who caused the harm. Letting go does not require the other person to acknowledge what happened. It is about freeing ourselves.

One of my biggest reflections is that forgiveness is never simple.

Some wounds are so profound that they take years—sometimes a lifetime—to process. They resurface unexpectedly. Time may soften them, but it does not erase them.

One message that continues to stay with me came from Izzeldin Abuelaish. He reminded us that both hatred and forgiveness are choices. Despite unimaginable personal loss, he said simply: "I choose not to hate." His words were a profound reminder that forgiveness is not about denying pain or injustice; it is about refusing to let hatred define who we become. That choice is both an act of courage and an act of leadership.

At the same time, forgiveness cannot be separated from justice. Acting is as important as dialogue and discussions. Where abuse, genocide, exploitation, violence, and other grave violations or injustice continue, there can be no expectation of forgiveness without first addressing the harm. Justice and accountability are not barriers to healing—they are often the conditions that make healing possible. When harm is ongoing, forgiveness becomes far more difficult. Abuse must stop. Accountability matters. Healing and justice are not opposing forces—they need each other.

As I left Caux, one question stayed with me:

What is mine—and ours—to do?

In a world that often feels on fire, full of division and in a sector marked by deep inequities, I find myself returning to the importance of creating and holding spaces for reflection, dialogue, and collective healing.

I'll leave you with these words from the forum:

"Our responsibility is not only to repair what has been broken, but also to create the conditions for a shared future. This calls on us to see others without reducing them to their past, to think for ourselves, and to cultivate a solidarity that transcends borders and identities."

I left Caux with a full heart, renewed hope and questions that will continue to unfold. I am deeply grateful to everyone who held the space with such care, courage and generosity.

The experience also deepened my thinking about the work we are doing at Raising Together. It reinforced my belief that creating space for reflection is not a luxury—it is essential to how we heal, lead, and create meaningful change. These conversations reminded me that individual and collective transformation begin by slowing down, listening deeply, and having the courage to face what is difficult. I leave inspired to continue exploring how we can bring these practices into our work and create the conditions for more compassionate, courageous, and transformative leadership.

Sarah Noble Ignacio Packer Véronique Sikora-Gasser Koenraad Van Brabant Lewis Cardinal

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