Promoting Emotional Well-Being

We don’t need to apologize for having children. After all, we didn’t make a mistake. We didn’t mess up a project. We brought life into this world - and that’s extraordinary. ❤️ Children are the future of our society. What I find much more questionable? Parents who don’t pick up their kids from kindergarten. Who never show up at football practice or piano lessons. That, too, says something. So instead of rushing out of a meeting with guilt in our voice to pick up our children or drive them to their hobbies, we should reshape the culture itself. Block pick-up times and kids' activities into your calendar like you would a board meeting - with clarity and zero apology. Label it not just “Personal,” but “CEO Duty: Future Generation” or “Leadership at Home.” Yes, it sounds bold. That’s the point. Even better: 💡 Bring it up in team stand-ups. Normalize it. 💡 Create a shared “Parent Hours” visibility board within your team, so others can align around it 💡 Rotate critical meeting times to avoid consistently disadvantaging caregivers. 💡 Don’t ask for permission. Model it so others stop feeling they need to either. Make your responsibilities visible, not hidden. There’s no shame in parenting. Only power in presence. Have you ever caught yourself apologizing for being a parent? I have. It took me a long time to rewire that guilt. But now I choose visibility. And so can you. #WorkingParents #Leadership #WorkLifeIntegration #NoMoreApologies #RewriteTheNarrative

Many high-achieving professionals suffer from an unexpected problem. The problem is that they can’t enjoy their own success. In behavioral science, we call these people strivers. These are the men and women who work hard, delay gratification, and chase excellence with intensity. Their discipline often brings rewards such as promotions, respect, and accolades. But over time, a pattern emerges. Strivers report lower levels of daily joy, and even burnout. Why? The reason isn’t laziness or lack of gratitude. It’s a failure to create enjoyment. Enjoyment isn’t the same as pleasure; pleasure is fleeting and individual whereas enjoyment requires pleasure, people, and memory. It’s built, not received. Research shows that those who suppress consumption and believe they should always be investing in future gains miss out on key sources of happiness. They delay too long. They don't create meaningful moments with others. They forget that enjoyment requires presence, not just progress. If you suspect this might describe you, here are two ideas worth trying: 1. Stop avoiding “pleasure” and redefine it. A weekend dinner with close friends. A walk without your phone. Re-reading a favorite book. These aren’t luxuries; they are investments in memory and meaning and you should treat them as seriously as your calendar or inbox. 2. Build memory on purpose. Instead of waiting for big milestones to feel satisfied, turn ordinary moments into experiences. Studies show that memories with people, especially those made through rituals or traditions— contribute significantly to long-term happiness. Plan your week with this in mind. The most fulfilled leaders aren’t the ones who chased the most rewards. They’re the ones who learned how to enjoy their lives, while they were still living them.

Why some kids thrive and others quietly fall behind. A new longitudinal study uncovered four parenting profiles and only one consistently supports both academic and emotional development. Here’s what they found: 1. Autonomy-supportive parents These parents set clear rules and allow for independent decision-making. They communicate expectations—but also validate emotions. This was the only group whose children showed gains in both well-being and achievement over time. 2. Controlling parents Think strict, directive, rule-bound—without much room for dialogue. These kids often performed well academically but had lower self-worth and motivation. 3. Cold parents Low on both structure and emotional warmth. This group’s kids showed the worst outcomes, both emotionally and academically. 4. Inconsistent parents Rules and emotional support were unpredictable. Not surprisingly, these children were more likely to experience anxiety and poor performance. The takeaway? Adolescents thrive when they’re given structure and space. Rules and respect. Guidance and autonomy. For any parent, educator, or leader this is the balance to aim for.

Supportive Coaching... After failing the first attempt, I really liked how the coach consoled the child. It looked as though he asked if she wanted to perform the move again when she shook her head in an upset state. He gave her more time to calm down before encouraging her to perform the jump again, which she landed. The coach's calmness and supportive style made the second attempt possible. He showed us the importance of being patient, encouraging, and caring to athletes when they experience stress and doubts after failing to achieve their goals. It is essential that coaches consider their behaviour, especially when coaching children. Quite often, coaches are not aware of their behaviour, with many coaches often being ‘blissfully unaware of how they behaved’ (Smith & Smoll, 1997: 18). Millar et al. (2011) reported that the discrepancy between a coach’s actual and reported behaviour may be as high as 40%. Sport can benefit children in many ways, but if a coach upsets children, it harms children's well-being and reduces enjoyment (Smith & Smoll). It's also an important lesson for the child performing the jump. She can gain confidence by not giving up after the first jump. Also, sometimes, we fail, but we should always try again.

After a year of building Yara AI, it's time to shut things down. A year ago, I believed we could democratize mental health support through AI. Today, I'm open-sourcing some AI prompts I developed inspired by that journey - not because we succeeded, but because we learned exactly where the boundaries need to be: https://lnkd.in/gMb4mmyf These templates are a small part of what we learned, released on my own initiative. While I was privileged to work with brilliant minds - Dr. Richard Stott brought deep clinical expertise, Joris Postmus taught me everything about AI safety, and John Ryley (my first boss at Sky News and our first backer) believed in the vision - this is my personal attempt to salvage something useful. The journey began with the loss of my dear friend Chris Paley-Smith, whose courage in confronting his own struggles inspired me to try building something that might help others find that same brave vulnerability. Here's the hard truth: We stopped Yara because we realized we were building in an impossible space. AI can be wonderful for everyday stress, sleep troubles, or processing a difficult conversation. But the moment someone truly vulnerable reaches out - someone in crisis, someone with deep trauma, someone contemplating ending their life - AI becomes dangerous. Not just inadequate. Dangerous. The gap between what AI can safely do and what desperate people need isn't just a technical problem. It's an existential one. And startups, facing mounting regulations and unlimited liability, aren't the right vehicles to bridge it. That said, you don't need to be technical to use AI for genuine self-help. These templates work with any consumer AI tool - Claude Projects, ChatGPT, whatever you have access to. They're conversation frameworks that help AI respond with empathy while maintaining crucial boundaries. Think of them as guardrails for having supportive conversations with yourself, mediated by AI. I'm sharing these because the mental health crisis isn't waiting for us to figure out the perfect solution. People are already turning to AI for support. They deserve better than what they're getting from generic chatbots. These templates can help - within strict limits. My journey continues in a different direction, and I'm excited to share more soon - building the infrastructure and safety layers that might eventually make responsible mental health AI possible. But that's a longer story for another day. For now, if you're using AI for self-reflection, or helping others do so, please use these resources. Build responsibly. Respect the boundaries. And always, always point people toward professional help when they truly need it. To everyone who joined us on this journey - who shared their struggles, offered guidance, or believed in the vision - your contribution mattered, even if the outcome wasn't what we hoped. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can learn is where to stop.

I love this reframe of Maslow’s hierarchy — rewritten not as needs but as felt experiences. In SEMH (Social, Emotional & Mental Health) settings, we often work from Golding’s hierarchy of relational needs — and what strikes me is just how aligned these frameworks are. Whether we call it connected, secure, valued, confident, inspired — or Maslow’s belonging, safety, esteem, self-actualisation — we are ultimately talking about the emotional states a nervous system needs to move from survival to growth. In SEMH schools, many young people spend most of their day simply trying to stay regulated enough to access a sense of safety or connection. That’s why, as integrative psychotherapists, we don’t start with “learning outcomes” — we start with co-regulation, belonging, felt safety, and only then move upwards. ✨ The crossover matters — because every level is a positive possibility, not a deficit. ✨ Progress is not linear — it’s relational, sensory, embodied. ✨ Our role is not to fix but to facilitate movement up the pyramid, however slowly, however relationally. The question I’m now sitting with is: What environments, relationships and rhythms allow young people not just to cope — but to feel valued, confident, and inspired? That is the real therapeutic task in education.

No one talks about how lonely it is to come back from maternity leave. You leave to have a baby. You come back to 1,492 Slack messages and a calendar invite like nothing happened. No re-onboarding. No roadmap. Just you, quietly catching up in the dark while trying to remember how to human. We have onboarding for new hires. Offboarding for exits. Even training for contractors. But for parents returning from birth? Silence. Let’s fix it. Here’s what every company should offer for parents returning from leave: 👋 Reboarding Week 1: • 1:1 with manager to go over what changed • Updated org chart & project priorities • A "Return Roadmap" PDF so they’re not guessing • Re-intro post to the team (yes, like a new hire) 🧠 Emotional & Logistical Support: • Option to ease in: 3-day ramp week • Set up a “parent buddy” for weekly check-ins • Slack channel for working parents • Access to therapy or coaching if possible 🗓️ Workload Reset: • Clean calendar before return, don’t backload meetings • Give space to observe before jumping into strategy • Make re-entry goals collaborative, not performative 💡 Manager Training: Because most of them have no idea how to support a parent returning to work. Let’s fix that too. This isn’t coddling. This is retention strategy. This is how you keep high performers. This is how you show up for real when it matters. HR folks, People teams, CEOs: STEAL THIS PLAN. Better yet, implement it and tell LinkedIn you did. Working parents deserve more than a “Welcome back!” They deserve a re-launch. #WorkingParents #MaternityLeave #Onboarding #Reboarding #PeopleFirst #ParenthoodAtWork #caffeinencareers

If you overthink, try this. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper, and 15 minutes. That’s all it takes to measurably improve your mental and physical health, according to hundreds of scientific studies. Dr. James Pennebaker’s ‘Writing Protocol’ is the method behind those results. Here’s how it works: 1. Write for 15 minutes, once a week ↳ Tip: Focus on the same emotionally challenging event every time. 2. Keep it raw and unfiltered ↳ Tip: Don’t worry about grammar or structure — this is just for you. 3. Stick with it for 4 weeks ↳ Tip: Make it a ritual. Same time, same place. Over 200 peer-reviewed studies show that this practice - essentially expressive writing - improves mental clarity, emotional resilience, and even physical health. No gimmicks. No cost. Just a science-backed reset for your mind and body. P.S. Do you ever find yourself overthinking something negative that happened? Studies: Guo, L. (2023). The delayed, durable effect of expressive writing on depression, anxiety and stress: A meta‐analytic review of studies with long‐term follow‐ups. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(1), 272-297. Lukenda, K., Sülzenbrück, S., & Sutter, C. (2024). Expressive writing as a practice against work stress: A literature review. Journal of Workplace Behavioral Health, 39(1), 106-137. Range, L. M., & Jenkins, S. R. (2010). Who benefits from Pennebaker’s expressive writing paradigm? Research recommendations from three gender theories. Sex Roles, 63, 149-164. Ruini, C., & Mortara, C. C. (2022). Writing technique across psychotherapies—from traditional expressive writing to new positive psychology interventions: A narrative review. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 1-12.

Sensory Architecture: A Journey Through the Senses A client approached us with the vision of creating a wellness retreat that transcended the conventional. As with all our projects, we began with Land Studies, exploring its natural systems and understanding that the users were not the only guests but also the flora, fauna, and ecosystems of the place. This research led us to question: What if architecture did not only adapt to nature but co-created with it? More than a physical space, a wellness retreat is an experience. Designing in harmony with nature means creating a living, responsive architecture that interacts with its surroundings and strengthens the connection between people and the natural world. To achieve this, we studied light, sound, wind, vegetation, temperature, smells, and the metaphysical features of the site, asking key questions like: How can sensory experiences promote healing? Each site visit revealed new aspects, allowing us to map natural rhythms—light movement, wind patterns, biodiversity, influenced by the time of day and the season of the year. Studying the senses can seem overwhelming due to their subjective nature, so it was essential to understand how to measure and quantify the effects of these sensory elements on well-being. •⁠ ⁠Sight and Light: Light, essential for visual perception, influences emotions and biological rhythms. Orange light (582-620 nm) stimulates vitality, while blue light enhances concentration but can disrupt sleep. Based on these effects, one can design lighting strategies that respond to the physical and emotional needs of users at different times of the day. •⁠ ⁠Sound and Frequencies: Sound travels in waves and affects mood. Low frequencies induce relaxation, while high frequencies create alertness. Mapping natural sounds—wind, water, birds—allows us to define zones of tranquility and areas with greater sensory stimulation.  - Touch and Textures: Tactile perception involves pressure, temperature, and texture. Smooth wooden surfaces convey warmth, while rough stone evokes stability. By analyzing local materials, we design spaces that foster relaxation and a connection with nature through touch. •⁠ ⁠Smell: Smell is linked to the limbic system, influencing emotions and memories. We identified natural fragrances—like citrus & wood—to integrate them into architecture and enhance well-being. For example, we aim to design an experience where guests wake up to the invigorating scent of citrus, promoting energy and alertness, and wind down at night with the calming aroma of lavender, encouraging restful sleep. To bring this vision to life, we are working with experts from various disciplines, focusing on ecology, environmental conservation, neuroscience, and the use of local materials and construction techniques. Sensory architecture transforms design into a living organism that breathes, listens, and responds.

Emotional Regulation: The most overlooked form of crime prevention “Teaching people how to regulate their emotions isn’t just a valuable life skill, it’s crime prevention. It’s addiction prevention”. It’s the foundation of a society where people can disagree without dehumanising one another. Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings. It’s about recognising them, understanding them, and responding in ways that align with our values instead of reacting impulsively. Research consistently links poor emotional regulation to increased aggression, substance use, and conflict escalation. The inability to manage distress often leads people down paths of self destruction or harm to others. Consider the data: * A study published in The Journal of Criminal Justice found that deficits in emotional regulation significantly contribute to violent offending. Those with poor regulation skills were more likely to react aggressively to perceived threats or disrespect. * The National Institute on Drug Abuse highlights how emotional dysregulation is a key driver of addiction. Many people turn to substances not for pleasure but to escape feelings they don’t know how to manage. * Research in The Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology suggests that teaching emotional regulation in schools leads to lower rates of future criminal behaviour, improved academic outcomes, and healthier social relationships. Now, imagine a society where emotional regulation is embedded in education, workplaces, and justice systems. Where people are taught from a young age how to self-soothe, navigate stress, and engage in difficult conversations without resorting to hostility. The impact would be profound: reduced violence, lower rates of addiction, and a society where disagreements encourage dialogue rather than division. This isn’t a utopian ideal. It’s a practical, evidence based strategy for a safer, healthier world. The question is are we willing to invest in it? #EmotionalIntelligence #mentalhealth #SelfRegulation #EmotionalAwarenes #Resilience #StressManagement #Mindfulness #Wellbeing