Mastering Leadership Skills

It takes one minute to damage a career you spent 30 years building. Because success isn’t about skill or intelligence. It’s about emotional regulation. Exercising restraint instead of: → Engaging in a heated debate with a client. → Exchanging a sharp word with a colleague. → Sending an angry email in the heat of the moment. The second you lose control, you’ve lost. Emotional regulation is the biggest marker of career success. The good news is it’s a muscle you can build. Here's how: 1. Know Your Triggers → Identify what sets you off. → Do you feel threatened when criticised? → Awareness is the first step to control. 2. Hit Pause → Before reacting, ask yourself: What are the consequences of my move? → Regret minimisation is critical. 3. Reframe the Experience → What else could this mean? → Maybe the person was having a bad day. → Chose an interpretation that serves you. 4. Create a Delay on Emails Sent → Set a 10-minute delay on all outgoing emails. → This in and of itself could save your career. 5. Breathe → When emotions rise, take three slow breaths. → It signals your nervous system to reset. → Simple, but powerful. 6. Speak With Emotional Intelligence → Once you’re ready to respond, choose your words carefully. → Ask: How can I create the right outcome in a calm way? Remember: → If you choose restraint, you win. → If you reframe, you grow. And every time you stay in control, you keep your power. How important do you think emotional regulation is for career success? ---- ☀️Follow Deena Priest for career, leadership and personal development insights.

I got fired twice because I had poor soft skills. Then, I became VP at Amazon, where my job was more than 80% based on soft skills. This was possible because I stopped being an outspoken, judgmental critic of other people and improved my soft skills. Here are 4 areas you can improve: Soft skills are one of the main things I discuss with my coaching clients, as they are often the barrier between being a competent manager and being ready to be a true executive. Technical skills are important, but soft skills are the deciding factor between executive candidates a lot more than technical skills are. Four “soft skill” areas in which we can constantly improve are: 1) Storytelling skills Jeff Bezos said, “You can have the best technology, you can have the best business model, but if the storytelling isn’t amazing, it won’t matter.” The same is true for you as a leader. You can have the best skills or best ideas, but if you can’t communicate through powerful storytelling, no one will pay attention. 2) Writing Writing is the foundation of clear communication and clear thinking. It is the main tool for demonstrating your thinking and influencing others. The way you write will impact your influence, and therefore will impact your opportunities to grow as a leader. 3) Executive Presence Executive presence is your ability to present as someone who should be taken seriously. This includes your ability to speak, to act under pressure, and to relate to your team informally, but it goes far beyond any individual skill. Improving executive presence requires consistently evaluating where we have space to grow in our image as leaders and then addressing it. 4) Public Speaking As a leader, public speaking is inevitable. In order the get the support you need to become an executive, you must inspire confidence in your abilities and ideas through the way you speak to large, important groups of people. No one wants to give more responsibility to someone who looks uncomfortable with the amount they already have. I am writing about these 4 areas because today’s newsletter is centered around how exactly to improve these soft skills. The newsletter comes from member questions in our Level Up Newsletter community, and I answer each of them at length. I'm joined in the newsletter by my good friend, Richard Hua, a world class expert in emotional intelligence (EQ). Rich created a program at Amazon that has taught EQ to more than 500,000 people! The 4 specific questions I answer are: 1. “How do I improve my storytelling skills?” 2. “What resources or tools would you recommend to get better in writing?” 3. “What are the top 3 ways to improve my executive presence?” 4. “I am uncomfortable talking in front of large crowds and unknown people, but as I move up, I need to do this more. How do I get comfortable with this?” See the newsletter here: https://lnkd.in/gg6JXqF4 How have you improved your soft skills?

Look after YOUR TEAM and they will look after YOUR CUSTOMERS 🔥 I've spent over a decade studying great leadership. Firstly because I was a terrible at it and didn’t know what I was doing. Secondly, because I understood that the trajectory of any team stems from the top. I’ve learnt that ultimate goal of any true leader is to create efficient systems and empower their team, so they become self-reliant. Think of it like a sports coach: their job is to prepare the team, but they don't play the game. A coach's influence is typically limited to before the game, at the half-time break or after the match. The team must execute on the field or court. If a coach has to join the game, they haven't done their job properly and there is something wrong with the system. So how do you inspire your team to bring their best selves: 🌟 Vision and Inspiration: Leaders typically have a clear vision and the ability to inspire employees towards a common goal. This inspires a sense of purpose, making employees feel important as they contribute to a greater mission 🔑 Empowerment: Leaders often empower employees to make decisions and take ownership of their work. This autonomy fosters a sense of significance and trust among employees 👂 Listening and Feedback: Leaders tend to actively listen to employees' ideas and concerns, providing constructive feedback. This shows employees that their input matters, reinforcing their importance within the organisation 📈 Development: Leaders prioritise employee growth and development, helping them acquire new skills and advance in their careers. This investment in personal and professional growth reinforces the sense of importance. 🏆 Recognition: Leaders are often more inclined to recognise and appreciate the contributions of their team members. Regular recognition boosts morale and makes employees feel valued and important. 🗣️ Transparency and Communication: Leaders tend to be transparent about the company's direction and challenges. Open communication fosters a sense of belonging and importance, as employees are kept informed and involved. 🤝 Trust and Accountability: Leaders trust their employees to perform their roles effectively and hold them accountable for their actions. This trust implies that employees are important and capable of delivering results.

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲? Of all the topics people ask me about, executive presence is near the top of the list. The challenge with executive presence is that it’s hard to define. It’s not a checklist you can tick off. It’s more like taste or intuition. Some people develop it early. Others build it over time. More often, it’s a lack of context, coaching, or exposure to what “good” looks like. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years, both from getting it wrong and from watching others get it right. 1. 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 People early in their careers often feel the need to prove they know the details. But executive presence isn’t about detail. It’s about clarity. If your message would sound the same to a peer, your manager, and your CEO, you’re not tailoring it enough. Meet your audience where they are. 2. 𝐔𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Executives care about outcomes, strategy, and alignment. One of my teammates once struggled with this. Brilliant at the work, but too deep in the weeds to communicate its impact. With coaching, she learned to reframe her updates, and her influence grew exponentially. 3. 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 Every meeting has an undercurrent: past dynamics, relationships, history. Navigating this well often requires a trusted guide who can explain what’s going on behind the scenes. 4. 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 Just because something is your entire world doesn’t mean others know about it. I’ve had conversations where I assumed someone knew what I was talking about, but they didn't. Context is a gift. Give it freely. 5. 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 Early in my career, I brought problems to my manager. Now, I appreciate the people who bring potential paths forward. It’s not about having the perfect solution. It’s about showing you’re engaged in solving the problem. 6. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 Every leader is solving a different set of problems. Step into their shoes. Show how your work connects to what’s top of mind for them. This is how you build alignment and earn trust. 7. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Years ago, a founder cold emailed me. We didn’t know each other, but we were both Duke alums. That one point of connection turned a cold outreach into a real conversation. 8. 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 Before you walk into a meeting, ask yourself what outcome you’re trying to drive. Wandering conversations erode credibility. Precision matters. So does preparation. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 Executive presence isn’t about dominating a room or having all the answers. It’s about clarity, connection, and conviction. And like any muscle, it gets stronger with intentional practice.

Leaders: you can short-circuit the cognitive dissonance driving anti- #diversity, #equity, and #inclusion backlash by simply tweaking how you communicate. Much of anti-DEI backlash is a defensive reaction to a psychologically threatening idea: the existence of workplace policies, practices, processes, and cultures that might only extend benefits to some, while enabling inequity, exclusion, and discrimination for many others. We might hope that people resolve this challenging information by graciously acknowledging their discomfort, revising their perception of the world, and rethinking their own identity and role in that new understanding—but this doesn't always happen. Far too often, people reject, downplay, or delegitimize threatening information, instead. People question or ascribe malice to the communicator, attempt to find outlandish interpretations of data, or even flip the script and assert that identifying discrimination is itself a discriminatory or defamatory act. So long as people view the fundamental premise of DEI work—the existence of an unequal status quo—as a personal attack on their status as "good people," they will fight tooth and nail to reject it. Recognizing this source of backlash can feel sobering, but it also gives us some powerful insight. If people reject DEI because they feel accused of being bad people, we can resolve this dissonance by re-linking the status of "being a good person" to the actions of championing inclusion and equity. It can be as simple as a communications shift. 🔉 "Can you stop using that racist phrase?" 🔊 "I learned some new language lately to communicate more respectfully. You're a thoughtful communicator and I figured you'd want to keep up with best practices." 🔉 "You need to fix the high prevalence of discriminatory behaviors in your department." 🔊 "I know you're the kind of leader who takes responsibility and solves problems. This is a tough challenge but I know you're up to the task." 🔉 "Why are you not speaking up when you see people getting mistreated?" 🔊 "You've always cared about using your voice to make a difference, and I think this is a great opportunity to do so." By framing our calls to action in this way, we're making it clear that DEI is not about "remedial punishments for bad people," but instead about "good people living up to their values." That assertion can make a surprising difference when it comes to defusing backlash. As a last note: these reframings may not always be necessary or work for everyone. But knowing how to use them in a pinch, especially if we're aiming to reach those who might be the most defensive or antagonistic about DEI, is a skill that every leader and practitioner should have in their toolkit.

Micromanagement isn't leadership. It's fear wearing a productivity mask. Control creates compliance. Trust creates growth. Most leaders with good intentions end up chasing perfection over progress. And here's what happens: Micromanagers don't create excellence. They create actors. People who perform competence instead of building it. Not because they lack talent, but because fear of failure makes them play it safe. The best leader I ever had asked three things: "What do you need to succeed? → How can I support you? → Can you deliver?" → Then he stepped back. The worst asked for approval on everything. Same me, completely different results. Here's what most leaders miss: ❌ Micromanagers Shrink People → "Let me review before you send that" → "Why didn't you follow the exact process?" → Result: Teams that wait for permission to think ✅ Trust-Based Leaders Expand People → "What's your recommendation and why?" → "What support do you need to succeed?" → Result: Teams that take ownership and innovate Here's what shifts everything: When you trust people, you don't just delegate tasks - you transfer belief. And belief is the raw material of capability. Your role as a leader isn't to be the ceiling. It's to remove it. People don't grow under constant supervision. They grow under consistent support. Your legacy isn't how much you controlled. It's how much you enabled. What's one area where you could replace supervision with support? 🖊️ Share this if someone needs to see it. Follow Maria Luisa Engels for more on leadership and personal development.

True presence has nothing to do with being loud. 15 quiet ways to own the room: Everyone's fighting to be the loudest voice. But the most influential people? They command attention without saying a word. Research shows up to 93% of your impact comes from non-verbal communication. Your body language speaks before you do. 15 ways to make it count ✨ 1) Position yourself in the center of the group ↳ Face people at a slight angle, keep 4 feet distance 2) Stand with feet shoulder-width apart ↳ Keep hands visible, not behind your back or in pockets 3) Take slow, deep breaths ↳ Controlled breathing says confident under pressure 4) Walk slightly slower than normal ↳ Deliberate movement > rushed energy 5) Pause before responding to questions ↳ Shows thoughtful consideration, not reactive impulses 6) Move with purpose, not randomly ↳ Every gesture should have intention behind it 7) Make eye contact for 4-5 seconds at a time ↳ Long enough to connect, short enough to avoid staring 8) Tilt your head slightly when listening ↳ Shows engagement and makes others feel heard 9) Look around the room before speaking ↳ Establishes awareness and command of the space 10) Lean forward slightly when engaging ↳ Demonstrates interest without invading personal space 11) Nod once when acknowledging points ↳ Shows you're processing, not just waiting to speak 12) Keep palms visible when speaking ↳ Open gestures build trust and credibility instantly 13) Stand tall at the center of the room ↳ Physical positioning signals leadership presence 14) Lower your voice, speak slowly and clearly ↳ Forces others to lean in and pay closer attention 15) Make eye contact with calm, confident presence ↳ Your energy sets the tone for the entire interaction Authority isn't earned through volume. It's commanded through presence ✨ Which of these do you notice most in others? How can you practice it this week? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network master their presence in any room 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more strategies to build quiet influence and authentic authority

Job titles don‘t make you a leader. Here‘s what does: 1. Emotional Intelligence: Great leaders use their emotional intelligence to build strong connections, have tough conversations with empathy, and create an environment where people feel heard and valued. 2. Leading by Example: Leaders inspire the qualities they want to see in their team members, such as hard work, dedication, and integrity, by demonstrating these qualities. 3. Owning Mistakes: Great leaders take full accountability when things go wrong instead of deflecting blame. They own their mistakes, apologize, and focus on finding solutions. It encourages a culture of transparency and continuous improvement. 4. Providing Mentorship: They share their knowledge and experience to help others grow. They take the time to coach, provide feedback, and help others grow their skills and reach their potential. 5. Gratitude: It’s about showing thankfulness and valuing the work of your team. It helps build a positive work environment and strengthens relationships. 6. Integrity: Leaders with integrity tell the truth, honor their word, and uphold values over politics or personal gain. It involves doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. 7. Humility: They recognize that they don’t have all the answers and are open to learning from others. Recognizing that you don't have all the answers and being open to feedback and criticism is essential for growth and improvement as a leader. 8. Accountability: Accountability means taking ownership of your team's results, whether they are positive or negative. It fosters a culture of reliability and trust. 9. Empowering Others: Real leaders enable their people by delegating important work, setting clear responsibilities, and getting out of the way. 10. Empathy: The best leaders can put themselves in someone else's shoes. They see things from other perspectives and make efforts to understand the whole context of a situation before judging or reacting. ♻️ Too many people deal with bad managers, please help them by sharing this post!

This Teacher Changes 30 Lives Each Morning Here's Why This Works Every morning, a teacher greets her students one by one - not with rules, but with choice: A hug, A high-five, a nod, or quiet. A ritual so simple. Yet it tells 30 children: You are seen. You are safe. You belong. Here’s what this teaches us about leadership - and how to apply it at work: 1. Honor Autonomy (Self-Determination Theory) When people get to choose how they engage, they show up with more agency. Autonomy isn’t about letting go of structure - it’s about giving room to opt in. Try this: 🔷 Let people set their own work cadence - async, deep focus, or collaborative sprints 🔷 Ask: “What support looks best for you right now?” *** 2. Create Micro-Moments of Connection (Broaden-and-Build Theory) We don’t need hour-long one-on-ones to build trust. A genuine check-in. A name spoken with intention. That’s the glue. Try this: 🔷 Pause to celebrate effort, not just outcomes - a quick voice note, a public thank-you 🔷 Remember small details - a kid’s soccer game, a partner’s surgery - and follow up *** 3. Signal Safety in Small Ways (Polyvagal Theory) The nervous system responds before the intellect does. Safety is felt first. And safe leaders create brave spaces. Try this: 🔷 Ask: “Is now a good time?” before giving feedback or asking for decisions 🔷 Stay calm and present, especially when tensions rise - your tone sets the tone *** 4. Design for Anticipatory Joy (Affective Forecasting) The brain lights up for what’s coming next. The ritual at the door gave students a reason to show up smiling. Try this: 🔷 Drop a kind, unexpected message in the team chat - just because 🔷 Celebrate mundane milestones - 100 days in the role, 50th client call, 1st brave no *** 5. Anchor Culture in Meaningful Rituals (Harvard Research on Rituals) Rituals are memory-makers. They codify values in action - they say, this is who we are. Try this: 🔷 End each quarter with storytelling: what stretched us? what did we learn? 🔷 Welcome new hires not with logistics, but with a story of your team's "why" *** This teacher didn’t redesign the curriculum. She redesigned how people enter the day. You don’t need a big title to lead like that - Just the courage to meet people at the door. 💬 What’s one ritual you’ve seen shift the energy of a space - or want to create where you work? 🔁 Repost to inspire kind actions in the workplace. 🔔 Follow Bhavna Toor for more on conscious leadership.

Being a firefighter has taught me more about leadership than Harvard or McKinsey ever did. Steal these lessons: 1) Do. Don't discuss. Most business trainings are PowerPoints: sit and learn. Most fire trainings are a real person in a frozen lake needing to be rescued. Studies show the firefighters have this right. To teach someone to sell, have them make a sales call. To teach someone to lead, don't give them a book, ask them to head up a project. 2) Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. The cliche: firefighters run in when others run out. The reality: firefighters never run. With 60 pounds of gear, hoses everywhere, and soaked ground, Running leads to injury. And an injured firefighter is useless. In business, fast action can be an asset. But for big projects (think: Boeing's 737 Max), go slow and get it right. A fast start that leads to issues later is not fast. 3) If someone should fix that, you're someone. A fire officer said this to my academy, and I've never forgotten it. Ownership runs deep in firefighting. It's a badge of honor to never pass a problem onto the next person who finds it. How many times have you heard people pass the buck or say "someone should really fix that." Well, you're someone! Get to it. 4) Risk a lot to save a lot. The maxim every firefighter knows: "Risk a little to save a little. Risk a lot to save a lot." If the house is engulfed and no one's inside, Don't go in and risk firefighter lives just for property. If there are people inside: Go. In. In business, go all in when the upside is big. But burning out your team for a single client or project? Not worth it. 5) People rise to your expectations. With a CPR patient, every responder has a job that no one else has time to micromanage. New firefighters learn fast that no one is watching to coach you. So they work like mad to get the skills they need to perform as expected. If an employee knows you'll be there every step to help them, They'll never develop full ownership. But give them autonomy, and they'll rise to your expectations. 6) Dissent saves lives. "We need to come down," a firefighter yelled to the officer on the ground. The crew had just been ordered onto the roof to saw a hole and ventilate smoke for the firefighters inside. A job that could save lives. But they got up and found a sagging roof ready to cave. So they dissented and aborted. And the officer pulled the interior crew out, Seconds before the entire structure collapsed. Obedience would have killed them all. Dissent is key in every industry: The Challenger Space Shuttle went much differently. 7) Be good to your people. When a firefighter gets injured, Others show up to walk their dog, Shovel their driveway, Drive them to appointments... When an employee seems off, ask them what they need. When a sickness has them down, bring them a meal or send DoorDash. Compassionate leaders are strong, not weak. And they're never forgotten.