Rated 1/5
In one passage of this book, about a third of the way in, a character named Chandresh throws a lavish dinner. For several pages, the sumptuous dinner is described in loving detail, except that it's not. Because Chandresh makes a point of not letting the guests know the ingredients of the meals they're being served. So we, the reader, are served with a lengthy description which describes nothing. This is all preparatory to a grand anmouncement which is to be made by Chandresh. Here I quote:
“Your company has been requested this evening because I have a project I am beginning, an endeavor, you might say. I do believe it is an endeavor that will appeal to all of you, and that you may each, in your unique ways, aid in the planning. Your assistance, which is entirely voluntary, will be both appreciated and well compensated,” he says.
“Stop beating around the bush and tell us what your new game is, Chandresh darling,” Mme. Padva says, swirling her brandy. “Some of us aren’t getting any younger.”
I know exactly how Mme. Padva feels. In fact, I know how the bush feels. When you finish this book, the poor bush will be a pile of flattened splinters from being beaten about. The foregoing passage is emblematic of the entire book (at least the first third...and I am unwilling to subject myself to more). This book consists of 90% vamping (or if you like, "beautiful descriptions"), 10% plot, and 0% character. There are no characters of any interest, just ciphers.
I think with this book, I have learned that when the selling point "beautiful descriptions" is offered by a reviewer, to read that as "puffing what should be a short story to novel-length".
Before she entered politics, Margaret Thatcher was a food scientist whose claim to fame was creating a process by which air bubbles could increase the volume of ice cream, thereby enabling manufacturers to sell less ice cream for the same amount of money. Erin Morgenstern has managed the literary equivalent.
Don't believe the hype! The emperor has no clothes!
I finished this book today. And by that I don't mean I completed the book. I mean I saved myself some pointlessly wasted hours.