A recent survey found that 82% of HR leaders don’t trust their managers to handle difficult conversations with employees on their own. At the very least, the respondents want to be in the room to make sure things are handled appropriately. That speaks volumes, given that tough conversations are a core part of people management, right?
Why HR doesn’t trust their managers
Most managers are promoted to their positions because they performed well in their previous roles, and the logical next step was management. On paper, that makes perfect sense, but in reality, it creates a gap that’s felt more than seen.
Managing the flow of work and managing people are two very different skill sets, and managers are rarely trained on the people side of their jobs. In a Deloitte survey, 36% of managers said they don’t feel sufficiently trained in people management. So when difficult conversations arise, it’s often a trial by fire.
When managers lack people skills
As HR professionals, we rely on guidelines, policies, and best practices to keep our managers afloat. That’s fine when everything goes according to plan, but the moment something unexpected happens, those resources can’t help them on the spot.
There’s no written procedure to handle an employee who’s just returned from maternity leave and is struggling to keep up. There’s no guideline for what to do when an employee bursts into tears after receiving tough feedback. Managers who don’t have the right people skills are completely unprepared to handle those situations.
And that skills gap directly impacts each employee’s capacity for success.
5 signs that your managers need people skills
I wanted to be surprised that HR folks don’t trust their managers, but then I thought about all the manager interactions that have given me pause.
1. They don’t know how to properly motivate
One measure of a manager is how well they motivate their team. Unprepared managers often default to comparison as a motivation tactic. I’ve heard a few managers tell employees that a coworker has already finished a certain number of tasks: “You’d better catch up, otherwise they’ll leave you behind.”
In their mind, they honestly believed that would push their employee to work harder. But that approach creates pressure, frustration, and sometimes resentment. Comparison makes employees feel they can only get ahead by cutting each other down.
2. They dismiss employee concerns
One of my biggest pet peeves is dismissing employee concerns, especially when an employee speaks up about being overwhelmed with work.
To make the employee feel better, some managers will talk about how much they have on their plate. But does that ever actually make anyone feel better? In my experience, it just makes employees feel like their concerns aren’t valid and encourages them to keep quiet.
In other situations, employee concerns are met with a common refrain: “That’s just how it is here.” This is worse because it signals to the employee that their manager is uninterested in finding a solution to a known issue.
3. They make everything about them
Managers who lack people skills often prioritize their own self-interests over the team’s welfare. They struggle to see tough situations objectively and instead treat everything as a personal affront.
I once informed a manager that one of their employees had submitted their two-week notice. Immediately, the manager complained to the employee about what would happen to the team and blatantly asked, “What am I supposed to do now?”
Instead of asking about the reasons for their departure to gain valuable insights, the manager shifted the conversation to their own needs.
4. They say things that should never be said
I once overheard a manager who was frustrated with an employee for not carrying out a task correctly. Instead of offering extra support or training, the manager said, “I like my job. I sure hope you like yours.”
It made me blink twice, because, whether intended or not, that statement comes off as a threat. What could have been a productive learning opportunity instead made the employee afraid for their job security.
That kind of communication changes how employees engage. They become more cautious and hyper-vigilant of every little detail, which ultimately hinders efficiency and often leads to burnout.
5. They avoid giving critical feedback
The same survey that found HR doesn’t trust managers also revealed that 67% of managers avoid or delay giving employees critical feedback. They usually avoid it because they’re either not confident or comfortable enough to discuss it.
But brushing performance issues under the rug doesn’t make the problem go away. Most of the time, other employees end up compensating for their colleague’s shortcomings at the expense of their own well-being—research shows that organizations with higher feedback-avoidance rates also have higher burnout rates among their top performers.
The people skills that matter the most
If you’ve seen any of these signs in your own office, don’t hit the panic button just yet. You can course correct and equip your managers with the people skills they need. I suggest focusing on these core people skills first to build a solid foundation:
Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence helps managers read the room and understand their employees. It’s how they pick up on when someone is overwhelmed, disengaged, or needs a different approach. Knowing how to adapt for each individual also allows managers to properly motivate the team as a whole.
Active listening
To be effective leaders, managers must know how to listen. Hearing employee concerns is one thing, but a manager who can listen—genuinely listen—to what’s really going on can identify the root cause and respond appropriately.
Giving feedback
Knowing how to give critical feedback helps managers address issues early, rather than waiting until it’s too late. Combined with strong interpersonal relationship skills and emotional intelligence, they’ll be more considerate of the employees who are picking up the slack. And, they’ll feel compelled to address the issue because they value their team’s well-being.
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