Reading Emotional Signals

Why do some teams thrive under pressure while others collapse? It often comes down to two hidden forces: The level of psychological safety people feel. The performance standards they’re held to. Not just one of the two. Both. Amy Edmondson’s framework shows how these forces interact, creating four very different team dynamics: Apathy Zone (low safety, low standards):  People disengage. They show up, but their minds are elsewhere. Minimal energy, minimal outcomes. Comfort Zone (high safety, low standards):  People are relaxed and friendly, but without challenge. It feels nice—but progress stalls. Anxiety Zone (low safety, high standards):  Pressure is high, but fear dominates. People play it safe, withhold ideas, and avoid risks. Performance suffers despite effort. Learning Zone (high safety, high standards):  This is the sweet spot. People feel safe enough to speak up, experiment, and fail, while being stretched to achieve ambitious goals. This is where true innovation and growth happen. Here’s the key insight: Psychological safety alone is not enough. A comfortable team without high standards doesn’t move forward. But also: Performance standards alone are not enough. High standards without safety create fear. Strong leaders cultivate both: they build an environment of trust and respect, and set the bar high enough to push people to their potential. The best teams don’t just feel safe. They feel safe and challenged to do hard things. Which quadrant are you or your people in today?

I see them in almost every team I work with. They’re not the loudest voices, not the ones chasing the spotlight and yet without them, the whole system starts to wobble. Behavioral scientist Jon Levy calls them glue players - the ones who make a team connected. They’re the social fabric of collaboration: 🧠 high in emotional intelligence, 🤝 putting the team above themselves, ⚙️ quietly doing the small, essential tasks that hold performance together. - They don’t compete for attention. - They sense tension before it escalates. - They make space for voices that would otherwise go unheard. And … they’re often women. What we call “helpfulness,” “empathy,” or “emotional labor” in women is actually the leadership work that keeps teams functional. Yet it’s invisible in most performance reviews. 🏢 If your organization wants to keep their glue players, you need to: 1. Redefine performance to include relational impact. 2. Acknowledge invisible labor: inclusion work, mentorship, emotional holding. 3. Reward connectors, not just achievers. Because when glue players burn out or leave, teams quietly lose their trust, courage, and flow. In my work with leadership teams, I help organizations recognize and nurture exactly these dynamics, building cultures where psychological safety and performance reinforce each other. Because the work we call “soft” is often the hardest and the most valuable work of all. 🤔 P.S.: What would change in organizations if “relational impact” became a formal part of performance evaluation?

*One emotion over all* Say you are your company CEO. A funky, purple, corporate genie appears to grant you a wish - at your command, you can confer one emotional state on your entire workforce. Every leader, every team member. What would you choose? Energy? Purpose? Happiness? Creativity? It’s Friday evening. I am a young flunky, and B is my scary, hyper-successful boss. “It is absolutely essential”, B warns me sternly, “that you finish this project X task ASAP! I need it first thing Monday.” I groan, there goes my weekend. I slog for two days - skip movies with my friends, skip meals, skip showers (hey, who’s smelling me?). Unkempt, dead tired, but somehow done, I drag myself into office on Monday and wait for the dreaded call. It never comes. The entire day passes, and B has shown no interest in me or this super-urgent project. I am half crying when I get to the flat I share with a colleague. “I had a horrible day”, he tells me morosely. HE had a terrible day?! Wait till I tell him my story! “What happened?”, I ask. “B yelled at me in front of everyone today. For 15 minutes! For ‘wasting my time’ on project X over other priorities!” B was an extremely talented professional. But in one day - two team members were bereft, their confidence shaken, deep resentments seeded, conflicting messages sent, and (at least) one major bitching session ensued. So much emotional scarring! So unnecessary. To spread most emotional states all across your company, you are indeed going to need a purple genie. You are unlikely to have a team where everyone is creative, or everyone has positive energy … or everyone is content with their performance Rating. But there is in fact one state that is entirely in your control as the boss. To me, the most important of all emotional states in my team - Psychological Safety. Do your employees feel psychologically ‘safe’ at the workplace? Do they feel like genuine contributing members of a team? Do they know what roles they play? Feel valued for playing those roles? Does everyone have necessary context to bring their best to work? Do people speak up when they disagree, or when they have a new idea? (Or are they scared the boss is going to chew their head off?) Does the boss ever express vulnerability or doubt in front of the team? Or does (s)he always know everything and is always right? Is it ok for the team to take chances, maybe make mistakes, or will one mistake be your end? Is the leader like MS Dhoni, in short, or like B? As a boss, creating an environment of psychological safety isn’t that hard - just be a good human being! Treat people with respect. Openly share company context. Ask questions, listen to everyone’s answers. Encourage divergent ideas. Appreciate good work generously. Use mistakes as learning moments, not beating sticks. Admit your own mistakes. Don’t humiliate people publicly. Basically: DON’T. BE. AN. A-HOLE. It’s not that hard, bosses. And you don’t need a purple genie to get this wish.

We're building connection wrong. After years of forcing people back to offices for "water cooler moments," I quizzed Atlassian's Chief People Officer Avani Solanki Prabhakar on How I Work about what she discovered actually creates workplace connection – and it's not what most leaders think. They call it "Intentional Togetherness" (ITG). And this what Avani told me: sporadic office attendance doesn't build connection. You can't manufacture connection by hoping people bump into each other at the coffee machine. **What actually works** Every quarter, bring cross-functional teams together with one rule: they must solve a real strategic problem. Not your hierarchical teams. Not a fun team-building exercise. The actual humans who need to crack a specific challenge. Give them: - A meaty problem that matters - Time to work through it together - Permission to get stuck, struggle, and figure it out The magic isn't in the solution. It's in the struggle. Think about your strongest work relationships. I bet they weren't forged over casual Friday drinks. They were built when you were both knee-deep in a project that felt impossible, working late, cursing the complexity, but figuring it out together. "Remember when we were doing that project together and it was so shitty?" That's the phrase that signals real connection. Shared struggle creates stronger bonds than a thousand coffee chats. **Here's what this means for you** Stop trying to engineer serendipity. Start engineering challenges. If you're mandating office days hoping for magical collaboration, you're wasting everyone's time. Instead, identify your biggest strategic challenges and bring together the people who can solve them. Make it quarterly. Make it intentional. Make it matter. Listen to the full chat on How I Work: https://lnkd.in/gMtw_Ecp And tell me in the comments: how does your team approach building togetherness? What works? What doesn't? #WorkplaceCulture #Leadership #OrganisationalPsychology #RemoteWork #FutureOfWork

In 2022, I predicted that by 2025, 60% of enterprises would actively foster socialization to combat chronic loneliness and social isolation exacerbated by digital technology. How has loneliness progressed? 🔍 Here's a snapshot according to Gallup's Global Workplace 2024 Report : 🌐 Globally, 1 in 5 employees report experiencing loneliness frequently, with those under 35 and fully remote workers most impacted. 😔 62% of employees are not engaged, while 15% are actively disengaged. 🆘 58% of employees feel they are struggling in life, with only 34% considering themselves thriving. ⚠️ 41% experience "a lot of daily stress." Loneliness and disconnection are silent problems — they often manifest as apathy, disengagement, or learned helplessness at work. So, what can we do to help? 💡 Steps to Consider: -Create a Support Network: Identify your team’s needs and implement channels to address them, such as employee assistance programs, financial planning tools, family assistance, buddy systems, communities, and ERGs. -Rethink the Work Environment: Co-design spaces for deeper relationships by mapping the employee experience and identifying changes in physical spaces, inclusive technology, and management practices. -Redesign Teams: Foster interdependence with collaboration platforms like fusion teams, cross-functional mentoring, and shadowing for problem-solving. - Recognize and Incentivize Goodwill: Acknowledge efforts with peer recognition/gratitude programs, making support visible to all. Implement an Inclusion Index: Measure fair treatment, collaboration, psychological safety, trust, belonging, diversity, and integration of differences through various feedback methods. - Train Managers: Provide managers with guidelines on the expected level of involvement in employee well-being. Train them in handling sensitive conversations, building personal connections, and evaluating mental health on a spectrum. Managers account for 70% of the variance in team employee engagement. Let's address these silent issues head-on and create a more connected and supportive workplace! 💪✨ #WorkplaceWellness #EmployeeEngagement #Inclusion #MentalHealth #FutureOfWork #Leadership #TeamBuilding For data see: Gallup's State of the Global Workforce Report https://lnkd.in/ecj8KUuw

What’s your workplace environment like? In my experience leading teams and facilitating collaboration, I prioritize emotional intelligence over intellectual intelligence. This graphic illustrates my perspective well. While working with intelligent individuals is advantageous, it is not enough. Intelligence can solve problems, but humility and kindness create cultures that prevent issues from arising in the first place. Here’s why this distinction matters: Kind and humble individuals: - Facilitate effortless collaboration. There’s no need to defend ideas or egos, allowing teams to build together more quickly, efficiently, and with greater trust. - Create psychological safety. When individuals feel respected, they are more likely to speak up, share innovative ideas, and admit mistakes early. This openness is vital for team innovation and growth. - Inspire long-term loyalty. Employees do not leave companies; they leave toxic dynamics. Collaborating with grounded and genuine teammates helps retain top talent. Ways to practice kindness and humility at work include: - Listening more than speaking. The loudest voice is not always the most impactful. Listening fosters connection and earns respect. - Giving credit generously. Acknowledging the contributions of others enhances trust and energy within the team. - Continuing to learn. Believing you have “arrived” can halt your growth. Maintain curiosity, stay open, and ensure that success does not make you unapproachable. Kind individuals build strong teams, and strong teams drive significant results.

Many negotiators ignore the tension in the room. They press forward, hoping it resolves itself. But I’ve never seen that work. Not in boardrooms, not in contract negotiations, not in leadership conversations or personal decisions. Unspoken tension doesn’t fade. It festers. And it quietly derails progress, in change initiatives, stakeholder alignment, team dynamics, and even at the dinner table. Over the years, I started tracking what worked. What got things moving again instead of flatlining. I noticed that every time progress stalled, tension was in the room… but no one named it. Now, I always call it early. → “It feels like something’s stuck.” → “I’m sensing some hesitation , is that fair?” → “We’ve gone quiet. Are we holding something back?” I say what others won’t. Not to provoke, but to release the pressure. And when I do: → People breathe. → The walls drop. → The real issues show up. → And progress starts again. That’s not soft skill. It’s strategy. If we're not trained to work with emotion under pressure, we’ll keep trying to negotiate facts. while the real conflict stays buried. Tension doesn’t go away by itself. We have to lead it out.

𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 This quote from Howard Wilkinson illustrates the importance of coaches impacting how athletes think and feel through their behaviour. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝘀 The way you behave as a coach impacts the way an athlete feels, both positively and negatively. Interpersonal emotion research has revealed that emotions do not just occur within individuals—they can also occur between individuals and even facilitate social interactions (Fischer & Manstead, 2016). Emotions often elicit emotional and behavioural responses from the people who observe them (emotions as social information (EASI) theory; Van Kleef, 2009, 2016). 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗿𝘆 Within the context of sport, a coach's positive affect and happiness at the start of training predicted player positive affective states at the end of a training session, and likewise for a coach's negative affect and anger at the start of a training session predicted negative affect and unhappiness among players at the end of the training session (Stebbings et al., 2015; van Kleef et al., 2019). Finally, van Kleef et al. (2019) found that coach happiness predicted football performance among 30 Dutch teams (376 players) and their coaches. That is coach happiness prior to the games was associated positively with performance, whereas coach happiness at half-time did not impact second-half performance. An important reminder for coaches to consider how they can impact the way players think and feel in a positive manner.

Building stronger workplace relationships is easier than you think. Here's what actually works (after 10+ years in team management): 1️⃣ Start with genuine curiosity - Ask about their projects - Listen more than you speak - Remember personal details they share 2️⃣ Create connection points - Schedule regular coffee chats - Join or start team activities - Offer help before they ask 3️⃣ Practice professional empathy - Acknowledge their challenges - Celebrate their wins (big and small) - Be reliable with commitment 4️⃣ Foster open communication - Share knowledge freely - Give credit where it's due - Address issues directly, but kindly 5️⃣ Respect boundaries - Keep work conversations professional - Don't force social interactions - Honor their time and space The key? Consistency in these actions. These aren't just "nice to have" practices. They're essential for creating a workplace where everyone thrives. Remember: Strong workplace relationships aren't built overnight. But small, daily actions make a huge difference. Try these today. Your future self (and team) will thank you. 📌 Share if you know someone who could use these tips P.S. Which of these will you try first? Drop a comment below. #employees #workplace #team

You walked out of that meeting thinking it went well. But three days later, the deal fell through. Here’s what happened: You were listening to their words. They were showing you the truth with their body. Research on nonverbal communication shows we transmit a significant amount of our emotional meaning through body language — the micro-expressions, the posture shifts, the way someone angles their chair when they’re actually ready to leave. Yet most of us are walking around half-blind. We catch the obvious signs — crossed arms, eye rolls — but miss the subtle ones that tell the real story. The three cues I watch for in any high-stakes conversation: The Lean Test. When someone is genuinely interested, their body follows their attention. They lean in. Their feet point toward you. If they’re saying yes but angling toward the door, believe the body. The Eyebrow Flash. It’s involuntary — a quick lift that signals recognition and interest. Ethologist Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt documented this across every culture he studied. In the first 2 seconds of meeting someone, this micro-expression tells you if they’re open to connection. The Self-Soothe. When someone touches their neck, plays with their hair, or adjusts their collar repeatedly, their nervous system is seeking comfort. They’re feeling uncertain, even if their words sound confident. Reading people isn’t about becoming a human lie detector. It’s about closing the gap between what someone says and what they feel — so you can respond to the actual conversation happening beneath the surface. What body language cue have you learned to trust over time?