Mindset Development Tips

It’s simple math 🧐 I use to think that motivation was the key to monumental success. Long story short, it’s not. It’s about the little things you do every day that will take you from reasonable to slightly unreasonable to completely unreasonable progress. Your future is not defined by how motivated you are, but by your daily routines and systems. I believe in this so much that we named our company Butterfly 3ffect to reflect the value of incremental gains. we believe that that’s how the best people and brands grow. Here’s how you grow the small way: 1. Start by setting achievable goals, like reading one chapter of a book each day or going for a short walk 2. Practice gratitude by writing down three things you're thankful for every night before bed 3. Engage in daily self-reflection, even if it's just for a few minutes, to assess your thoughts and actions 4. Incorporate small acts of kindness into your daily routine, like holding the door for someone or offering a genuine compliment 5. Learn something new every day, whether it's a fun fact, a new word, or a new skill 6. Prioritise self-care by getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and taking breaks when needed 7. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it's uplifting books, supportive friends, or inspiring podcasts 8. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone to growth 9. Stay consistent and patient, knowing that small progress over time adds up to significant improvement 10. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, to stay motivated and encouraged along the way.

🏃♀️ Imagine a study on marathon performance that doesn't mention some runners are carrying 50-pound backpacks. That's the 2025 Women in the Workplace report from Mckinsey and LeanIn 60 pages on why women "want promotions less." Zero mentions of childcare, eldercare, or the invisible second shift. Their own data shows women and men are equally committed to their careers, over 90% on every measure. Young women under 30 has even more ambitious than young men. Latinas are the most ambitious group in the entire study. 🤔 So where does this "ambition gap" come from? Buried on page 10, in a small box, they note that women who decline promotion cite "personal obligations" at nearly double the rate of men. Then they move on. No follow-up. No analysis. No asking the obvious question: What are these "personal obligations"? 💔 I'll tell you what they are. 👉 They're the 2am feeding before your 8am presentation. 👉 The school pickup that can't be rescheduled. 👉 The elderly parent who needs a doctor's appointment during your board meeting. 👉 The mental load of remembering everyone's everything while being told you "lack ambition." The report measured ambition without measuring the invisible infrastructure women are running at home. 👉 Here's what the report should have asked: ⁉️ Do women with equal childcare support want promotions at the same rate as men? ⁉️ Do women with flexible work arrangements show the same career drive? ⁉️ Does the "ambition gap" exist in countries with subsidized childcare? (Spoiler: Research says no, no, and no.) Instead, they concluded women are less ambitious and moved on to solutions that don't address the actual problem. This isn't just a missed opportunity. It's a misdirection! ❌ Because when you diagnose "ambition gap" instead of "care gap," you get solutions like "women need more confidence" instead of "workplaces need to stop penalizing caregiving." You get women blamed for systemic failures. 📊 Here's what an honest report would say: ✅ Women aren't less ambitious. They're doing two jobs while being evaluated as if they're doing one. ✅ The workplace wasn't designed for people with caregiving responsibilities. It was designed for people with wives. ✅ Until we redesign the system, we'll keep "discovering" that women don't want what men want, when really, women just can't afford what men take for granted. That's exactly why we built "From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader", because the women I work with aren't lacking ambition. They're lacking a system that sees their full contribution. Next cohort starts end of Jan 2026. 👉 Join the waitlist: https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because women don't have an ambition problem. The workplace has a measurement problem, and it starts with reports that count everything except what actually matters.

As a psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of working with top athletes, actors, and corporate leaders at the peak of their game. And yet—despite the accolades, despite the success—there’s a common thread I see far too often: They believe that the next achievement will finally silence the voice that whispers, “You’re not enough.” But it never does. Why? Because ambition that’s rooted in inadequacy is a bottomless pit. No matter how much you pour in, it never fills. True ambition isn’t about proving your worth. It’s about knowing you already have it. After years of working closely with high performers, I’ve noticed something powerful: The most fulfilled individuals don’t chase worthiness. They operate from it. And they live by three core principles: They chase mastery, not approval: If your goal is to silence self-doubt with success, it will never work. The inner critic doesn't quiet down. It just raises the bar. But when you focus on mastery for its own sake, success stops being a desperate pursuit and starts being a natural result. They practice ruthless self-respect: Not indulgent self-care. Ruthless self-respect. The kind that refuses to let self-criticism run wild. They don't allow themselves to be treated poorly, especially by their own thoughts. They measure progress by their own growth, not by others' success: Comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone ahead, always a new level to chase. But the moment you shift your focus inward—to your evolution and your growth—you take control of the game. Ambition isn't the problem. But when it comes from a place of emptiness, it will consume you. When it comes from a place of inherent worthiness and true desire, it will elevate you. So ask yourself: Is my ambition building me up or breaking me down? That answer will determine whether ambition becomes your greatest strength or an endless trap. #psychology #success #mindset #learning #growth

"I'll just wing it. I'm good on my feet." A Managing Director said this before walking into a $50M budget approval meeting. He walked out empty-handed. After 25+ years watching high potential executives crash and burn in "the room where it happens," I've learned something most people miss: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺. Influence isn't about charm. It's about preparation. Here's an approach you can put into practice today to immediately up your influencing impact. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: 𝟭. 𝗠𝗮𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 (𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗿𝗴 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁) • Who really makes the decision? (Hint: Not always who you think) • What keeps them up at night? • Who do they trust for input? One client discovered the "junior" person in the room was the CEO's former chief of staff. Guess whose opinion mattered most? 𝟮. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝘁 The worst time to make allies? When you need them. Smart executives plant seeds months before the harvest: • Coffee with the skeptics • Informal temperature checks • Strategic information sharing By the time you're pitching, you already know who's with you. 𝟯. 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 Match your message to their metrics: • Revenue-focused? Show growth • Cost-conscious? Show savings • Risk-averse? Show mitigation Same idea. Different frame. Completely different outcome. 𝟰. 𝗣𝗿𝗲-𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 The meeting isn't where you sell. It's where you confirm. If you're introducing new information in the room, you've already lost. The best executives I know follow this rule: 𝗡𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿. That person who always seems to "get lucky" with approvals? They're not lucky. They're doing 10x the advance work you are. While you're perfecting your slides, they're having strategic hallway conversations. While you're rehearsing your pitch, they're addressing objections before they're raised. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲: Your ability to influence has very little to do with your charisma in the moment. It has everything to do with the relationships you've built, the intelligence you've gathered, and the groundwork you've laid. Stop counting on spontaneous charm. Start investing in strategic preparation. Because in the C-suite, there are no successful surprise attacks. 🎯 When was the last time you walked into a crucial conversation truly prepared—not just with data, but with deep insight into every person in that room? Be honest. Your next promotion might depend on it. ------------ ♻️ Share with someone who needs to stop winging it and start winning it ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more truth about what really drives executive success

The Introvert's Survival Guide to Actually Enjoying (or at least surviving) Networking Events. I avoid networking events like they're tax audits or root canals. But sometimes you have to show up. (By have to, I mean, your business kind of depends on it.) Here's my "battle-tested" playbook for introverts who'd rather be home cleaning the litter box: Pre-Game Like an Athlete (or a Coward) • Set a timer for 47 minutes Not 45. Not an hour. 47. It's specific enough that you'll honor it. • Create your "Clark Kent Exit Strategy" Park near the exit. Know where the bathrooms are. Have a fake emergency ready. • Arrive unfashionably on-time Not early (too much small talk). Not late (everyone stares). Exactly on time when everyone's distracted. The Art of Strategic Positioning • Become furniture Find a high-top table. Claim it. Let extroverts come to you (they need a place to rest their drinks). • Master "Documentary Mode" Don't network. Observe. You're David Attenborough studying extroverts in their natural habitat. • Power Pose Like a Pro Stand near the food. Everyone comes to you. Plus, mouth full = legitimate reason not to talk. Conversation Hacks for the Socially Exhausted • The "Reverse Interview" Ask them 3 questions. They'll talk for 20 minutes. You nod. They think you're brilliant. "What are you most excited about doing this weekend?" • Deploy the "Introvert Card" "I'm actually an introvert, so this is my Olympics." Be transparently vulnerable. They laugh. Pressure's off. • The "Teaching Pivot" Turn every conversation into a mini-lesson. You're not networking, you're educating. Advanced Introvert Techniques • The "Phone Prop" Hold your phone like you're about to make a call. You look busy but approachable. Or, have a drink in your hand so they have something to do. • Find Another Introvert We can smell our own. Make eye contact with the person hiding by the plants. Form an alliance. You will both be relieved. • The "One Real Conversation" Rule Forget collecting 20 contacts. Have one meaningful conversation. Quality > quantity. The Grand Escape • The Irish Goodbye Just leave. Don't announce it. Disappear like Bruce Wayne. They'll think you're mysterious, not rude. • Leave on a High Had one good conversation? That's enough. You've won. Go home. • Recovery Protocol Schedule nothing for the next day. You've earned 24 hours of silence. Most "successful networkers" are performing too. They're just better actors. Not convinced? There's an alternative. I've built more meaningful connections through content than 1,000 networking events combined. Let people come to you through your content. Like they're doing right now. Who else is team "I'd rather create content than attend another networking mixer"? Drop a like if you've ever hidden in a bathroom stall to recharge. P.S. - My record for "shortest networking event attendance" is 3 minutes. Beat that. P.P.S. - Yes, I once brought a book to a networking event. No, I'm not sorry.

One of the most important skills that one needs as a founder, and surprisingly, no one talks about it enough, is emotional intelligence (EQ). While we focus on growing our business, we neglect the very thing that can make or break our success: our ability to understand and manage emotions, both our own and those of others. It allows you to: - Create a positive company culture - Communicate effectively - Lead with empathy and - Navigate conflicts Here are 5 ways that helped me improve my EQ: 1. I pay attention to my emotions and how they affect my behavior and decisions. Regularly check in with yourself and be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. 2. In conversations, I try to focus on understanding others rather than just waiting to speak. The key is to listen for the underlying nonverbal cues, not just the words one says. 3. When faced with conflicts or challenging situations, I step back before reacting. This way, I can respond constructively and not impulsively to resolve the challenge. 4. This one takes time. Put yourself in others' shoes and try to understand their POV and feelings. It builds trust, strengthens relationships, and helps you lead with compassion. 5. Start seeing critics as opportunities for growth and not personal attacks. Seek out feedback from your team, mentors, and friends to improve yourself. Building your EQ is the best thing you can do for yourself, your team, and your business in the long run. #leadership #emotionalintelligence #mindset #growth

What’s really holding you back? Spoiler alert: It’s not your skills. How many times have you felt like you’re not up for the job? That you’re not qualified? Or that someone else could do it better? Here’s the reality: ➡️ 13% of employees and 20% of senior managers admit they frequently feel like a fraud. ➡️ 54% of women report experiencing imposter syndrome, compared to 38% of men. I get it, because I’ve been there. I used to struggle with being visible - giving speeches, creating content online, even doing TV interviews. Despite decades of experience, there was always a little voice in my head whispering: “Do people really want to hear from you? What if they laugh at you?” Here’s the truth: It’s not based on facts - it’s just the noise in our heads. Here’s how you can overcome imposter syndrome and show up like you deserve to: 1/ The Imposter Loop ↳ You doubt every win and question every achievement. ↳ Own your story: You earned your seat at the table. ↳ Write down three wins you’re proud of. Seeing them silences the noise. 2/ The Permission Trap ↳ You wait to feel ready or for someone to say “go.” ↳ Stop waiting: Start before you’re ready. ↳ Set a deadline and commit publicly - action builds momentum faster than waiting for confidence to strike. 3/ The Comparison Game ↳ You stalk others’ success and compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20. ↳ Run your own race: Their doubts, fears, and failures aren’t in the highlight reel. ↳ Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. 4/ The Perfectionism Loop ↳ You polish endless drafts, overthink every detail, and never feel “good enough.” ↳ Launch at 80%: Fix it in flight. Done is better than perfect. ↳ Set a timer for your next task and stop when it’s ‘good enough.’ Progress beats perfection every time. 5/ The Silence Spiral ↳ You keep your struggles hidden and pretend you’ve got it all figured out. ↳ Share your story: You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too.” ↳ Find a peer or mentor and share one struggle you’re facing. Vulnerability builds connection. 6/ The Safety Net ↳ You stay in your comfort zone and call it “being realistic.” ↳ Take the leap: Growth lives outside your comfort zone. ↳ Identify one “safe” habit you’re clinging to. Replace it with one bold action, no matter how small. 7/ The Knowledge Shield ↳ You hide behind preparation, waiting to know “just one more thing.” ↳ Start doing: Expertise comes from action. ↳ Turn learning into doing: Commit to acting on one idea from the last book, course, or workshop you completed. What would be possible if you silenced those doubts once and for all? For me, it meant saying yes to opportunities I used to avoid - like speaking on stage and sharing my story. ⤵️ Have you ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? How did you work through it? ♻️ Share this post to remind someone they’re not alone. 🔔 Follow me, Jen Blandos, for advice on business, entrepreneurship, and well-being.

Most people go their *entire* life without reflecting. And before they know it, years have gone by and it's too late to change. The most powerful reflection you can do to avoid this fate: The Monthly Review. Grab a pen, crack open a notebook, and answer these 5 questions: The goal of the monthly review: Block 60 minutes to slowly process the month. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day & lose sight of the bigger picture. And after trying 1000+ reflection questions, I chose each question for a specific reason. Let's start with the first: 1. What were my biggest wins & milestones? These are things that you will look back on with pride & fond memories at the end of the year. • Health wins • Business wins • New relationships • Goals accomplished • Fun memories & events Recapping wins & milestones kicks the review off on a positive note. So often, our focus is on the negative. But this questions helps us celebrate all the things going well! And it also creates a "ledger" of wins from the year. From there, you ask a more important question: --- 2. What were my biggest realizations? I used to call this my "biggest losses." But I reframed this—because something is either a win, or it teaches you about the world. And by constantly collecting these realizations, you are always learning. Most of my realizations are about my: • Health • Beliefs • Business • Lack of skills • Relationships By constantly iterating and distilling these lessons, you will level up month after month after month. From here, you go from looking backward to looking at the present: --- 3. What areas am I most satisfied? Least satisfied? Split the page in 2 columns and brain dump bullet points of everything that comes to mind. The goal here is to identify in the present moment what's working and what's not working. From there, you ask another question: --- 4. Based on these areas, what am I going to do more of? Less of? This is the 80/20 rule in action. 20% of your: • Habits • Beliefs • Friends • Actions Are leading to 80% of both your positive *and* negative results. Now you should have 2 lists: • Things to *double down* on that are bringing you the positive results • Things to *stop doing entirely* that are bringing you the negative results Put those lists somewhere you can see them every morning (for me, that's on my bathroom mirror). Now, it's time to think about the future: --- 5. What am I thinking about for the month ahead? This is a quick list of things you're: • Excited about • Thinking about • Uncertain about This turns into a letter to your future self you can read at the end of the month. --- And just like that, the review is complete! The beauty of this process is you can constantly capture these things throughout the month. • Wins & milestones • Realizations & decisions • Things going well & things to improve Then, at the end of the year, you collect these monthly reviews and distill the entire year.

A Superpower I’ve Learned as a Program Manager at Amazon When I started as a program manager at Amazon, I thought the best leaders were the loudest in the room—the ones who took charge during chaotic moments. But early on, I worked with a senior program manager who completely changed my perspective. No matter how intense things got—missed deadlines, shifting priorities, or stakeholder pressure—they stayed calm, focused, and polite. They didn’t raise their voice or panic. Instead, they asked thoughtful questions and brought clarity. I’ll never forget one moment during a critical project. Just days before a launch, we hit a major roadblock, and tensions were high. While others scrambled, this person calmly asked, “What’s the most immediate action we can take to unblock progress?” That simple question shifted the energy in the room, and suddenly, we were aligned and focused. At the time, I admired their composure and wondered if I could emulate it. Sometimes I would get caught up in the constant firefighting and stress. Now, I’ve come to see staying calm as a superpower that I’ve worked hard to hone. For me, it’s about: 1️⃣ Pausing Before Reacting: Taking a moment to breathe and ground myself. 2️⃣ Focusing on the Next Step: Asking, “What can we do right now?” instead of getting overwhelmed by everything. 3️⃣ Modeling Composure: Staying polite and composed helps others do the same. I’m forever growing, but I’ve seen how calm leadership can turn chaos into clarity. How do you stay grounded in high-pressure situations? #Leadership #ProgramManagement #Growth #Amazon #StayingCalm

“Most people are getting dumber. Largely because of the smartphone, we’re in an era of declining attention spans, reading skills, numeracy and verbal reasoning. How to buck the trend?” Simon Kuper in the FT: 1. Read books. A book is still the best technology to convey the nuanced complexity of the world. That complexity is a check on pure ideology. People who want to simplify the world will prefer online conspiracy theories. 2. Don’t use screens much. That frees time for books and creates more interstitial moments when the mind is left unoccupied, has freedom to roam and makes new connections. Darwin, Nietzsche and Kant experienced these moments on walks. The biochemist Jennifer Doudna says she gets insights when “out weeding my tomato plants” or while asleep. 3. Do your own work, not the world’s. The best thinkers don’t waste much time maximising their income or climbing hierarchies. 4. Be multidisciplinary. Prewar Vienna produced thinkers including Freud, Hayek, Kurt Gödel and the irreducible polymath John von Neumann. The structure of the city’s university helped. Most subjects were taught within the faculties of either law or philosophy. That blurred boundaries between disciplines.” Hayek, for instance, “trained at home as a botanist to a quasi-professional level; he then graduated in law, received a doctorate in political science from the university, but . . . spent most of his time there studying psychology, all before becoming a revered economist.” 5. Be an empiricist who values ideas. During the second world war, Isaiah Berlin was first secretary at the British embassy in Washington. His weekly reports on the American political situation were brilliant empirical accounts of the world as it was. In March 1944, Isaiah Berlin returned from Washington to London on a bomber plane. He had to wear an oxygen mask all flight, wasn’t allowed to sleep for fear he would suffocate, and couldn’t read as there was no light. “One was therefore reduced to a most terrible thing,” he recalled, “to having to think — and I had to think for about seven or eight hours in this bomber.” During this long interstitial moment, Berlin decided to become an historian of ideas. He ended up writing The Hedgehog and the Fox and Two Concepts of Liberty. 6. Always assume you might be wrong. Mediocre thinkers prefer to confirm their initial assumptions. This “confirmation bias” stops them reaching new or deeper insights. By contrast, Darwin was always composing arguments against his own theories. 7. Keep learning from everyone. Only mediocrities [..] imagine that intelligence is innate and static. In fact, people become more or less intelligent through life, depending on how hard they think. The best thinkers are always learning from others, no matter how young or low-status. I remember being at a dinner table where the two people who talked least and listened hardest were the two Nobel laureates.” https://on.ft.com/4k9KD52 How to be a great thinker