Tips for Encouraging Positive Self-Talk in Athletes

Be nice to yourself. Your internal dialogue speaks before you do, shaping confidence, performance, and resilience. Ignore it and it will amplify stress. Train it and it becomes your personal coach. Why it matters: - Distanced self-talk (using your own name or “you”) quiets the emotional centers of the brain and boosts self-control. - Self-affirmations light up the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, making your brain more receptive to change and healthier. - Self-compassion correlates with lower anxiety, greater resilience, and steadier motivation than high self-esteem alone. - A recent meta-analysis shows performance gains across 30+ sports studies when athletes practiced structured self-talk. Make your self-talk kinder (and more useful) 1. Name-swap: When stress spikes, switch “I can’t handle this deadline” to “Shira, you’ve met tighter ones.” Third-person language creates distance and calms reactivity. 2. Values check: Write a 2-minute note on a core value before hard tasks. This simple affirmation primes the brain for openness and action. 3. Self-compassion break: Pause, note the struggle, remind yourself that imperfection is human, then ask “What would I say to a friend?” Answer it—out loud if possible. 3. Replace should with could: “I should post on LinkedIn daily” carries judgment. “I could post” invites choice and curiosity, easing resistance. 4. Cue cards: Draft two or three empowering phrases and place them where you work. Repetition wires the language in before pressure hits. Speak to yourself as you would to a promising colleague. Your inner voice will start working for you, not against you.

The Rule of Thirds... "When you're chasing a dream or doing anything hard, you're meant to feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time" This is a wonderful video with Alexi Pappas. When I reflect on some of things I have done, this really resonates with me. I remember leading one 3-year European Commission funded project, and I would say that I felt crappy two thirds of the time and okay, a third of time time, but did not feel good at all when leading this project due to several difficulties. In contrast when working on other projects, the balance has been much better. When doing difficult things, in which we push ourselves mentally and/or physically it's natural to have some challenging times, but how can coaches or leaders help people during these times? Firstly, understanding this rule of thirds is the first step. I also really like Seligman's (2006) optimism training principles: The A⃣B⃣C⃣D⃣E⃣ Learned Optimism A⃣dversity During times of stress, such as when an athlete makes a mistake (e.g. missing a tackle, dropping a ball, or missing a penalty), the athlete has encountered difficulty or adversity. B⃣eliefs  It is likely that the athlete will dwell on the mistake that he or she has just made, which can shape his or her beliefs. C⃣onsequences                 All beliefs have consequences. For example, if an athlete believes he or she is poor at catching he or she might try and avoid situations. D⃣isputation                    In order to help athletes remain optimistic during adversity, it is important that coaches dispute any negative beliefs that might occur. E⃣vidence                          Coaches can dispute negative beliefs, by using evidence. If an athlete drops a catch, the coach could say “Unlucky with the catch, you’ve caught some great catches this year and I am sure you will get the next one.” In addition to maximising optimism, it is also important that coaches reduce pessimism. Seligman (2006) created the 3 🅿s: 🅿ersonal                            As such athletes should be encouraged to attribute their misfortune to external sources (e.g. dropped the ball because of the wind or moisture on the ball). 🅿ermanent                        Pessimistic athletes also believe that their misfortune is permanent (e.g. I am never going to be selected for the team).  Coaches should encourage athletes to view all setbacks as being temporary and state that with practice to improve techniques setbacks will not regularly occur. 🅿ervasive                          Pessimists also believe that their misfortune is pervasive to all parts of their life and expect to experience misfortune in all parts of their life (e.g. sport, education, and relationships etc). Coaches should encourage athletes to think positively and rationally - just because one area of an athlete’s life is not going to plan, other parts of his or her life should not be affected.

I’m a bit of an addict. Let me clarify… I’m a bit of a self-help junkie. But I just had a moment that felt like finding out Santa Claus isn't real. I always assumed, watching athletes like Wayne Rooney, Tiger Woods, or Daniel Agger (as a kid with my dad), that they told themselves they were the best. In every way. No doubt, no hesitation. Which, honestly, can feel impossible to relate to—especially when imposter syndrome creeps in during the MANY stages of life. That assumption? Completely untrue. Most athletes don’t walk around with “I’m the best” imprinted on their brains. Sports psychologists generally don’t recommend it. Why? Because it produces mixed results. After reading many books... Here’s what they suggest instead: 1. Task-Oriented Self-Talk: Focus on actions or techniques. • “Stay balanced.” • “Keep your head in the game.” • “Follow through on the swing.” 2. Positive and Realistic Affirmations: Build confidence while staying grounded. • “I’ve trained for this moment.” • “I’m prepared and capable.” • “I can handle whatever comes my way.” 3. Growth-Focused Mindset: Focus on improvement and effort. • “I’m getting better every day.” • “I can overcome challenges with practice and persistence.” And here’s the kicker: in terms of performance, you are an athlete too. Whether you’re in logistics, coaching, sales, or running a business, the same principles apply. You should be honing your mentality. As a video editor and videographer I try to incorporate this into my own field. Focus on what matters. Stay grounded. Strive for progress, not perfection. Because being “the best” isn’t about shouting it to yourself—it’s about showing up, ready, every single day. #performance #sportspsychology #videoeditor

Grace isn’t soft. Its strength under control, the discipline to restore what drive depletes. High performers don’t struggle with drive, they struggle with grace. I learned that the hard way. The same intensity that made me unstoppable on the field nearly broke me off of it. We know we can do one more rep. We know we can test thresholds, constantly. We know our bodies can do far more than we think… so we push beyond. That’s the gift AND the trap. We see rest as weakness, until both our bodies and minds give out. But what we really need is psychological flexibility. Grace is not passive. It’s a high-performance lever. Grace is choosing regulation over reaction. Reflection over rumination. 🧠 Behavioral + Neuroscience Insight ➡️ Self-compassion is not self-indulgence, it’s neuroprotection. ➡️ Research by Dr. Kristin Neff (2003) shows that self-compassion lowers cortisol, stabilizes heart rate variability, and increases problem-solving under stress. ➡️ Grace activates the parasympathetic nervous system, shifting us from “threat mode” to “growth mode.” That’s where creativity, recovery, and emotional regulation live. Philosopher Seneca said it best: “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” When I coach athletes, I often ask: 1️⃣ “Would you talk to your teammate the way you talk to yourself?” 2️⃣ “Can you show yourself the same patience you show your teammates?” The silence that follows always tells the truth (over 98% of athletes exhibit reflective silence immediately). That’s the real inner game, the conversation happening between effort and exhaustion. Tools to Coach the Grace Muscle 1️⃣ Name the Inner Voice: Label the self-critic so you can lead it, not listen to it. Simply, train your mind, do not let your mind train you. 2️⃣ Reframe Failure: Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What is this teaching me?” 3️⃣ Breath Anchors: Slow exhales signal safety to the nervous system, restoring focus faster. 4️⃣ Scheduled Stillness: Block reflection time like training time, because both build endurance. Sit with yourself, do not avoid sitting in it. You can even walk without headphones if sitting still is tough. You can do this, you just choose not to. Grace is the high performer’s next frontier, not a soft landing, but a stronger foundation. Keep failing and learning my LinkedIn friends! Always a pinch-me moment 💚 I love the photos I get from incredible humans who read my book, Success Beyond Game Day, and send me pictures of their own journeys. That’s the real win: when the message moves from page to practice.

Master your self-talk, master your success. I know firsthand that the voice in your head can make or break your achievements. Here are some examples of how the words you choose influence how you perform: 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀 ❌ "This is too hard. I can't do it." ✔️ "This is tough, but I can figure it out." Why it matters: ⤵ • Challenges become opportunities, not threats • You're more likely to persevere • Each obstacle builds resilience 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 ❌ "I failed. I'm not cut out for this." ✔️ "I'm learning and getting a little better each time." Why it matters: ⤵ • Failure becomes a teacher, not a judge • Each setback refines your approach • You bounce back faster 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 ❌ "If it's hard, I'm not naturally good at it." ✔️ "Effort over time is how I improve and excel." Why it matters: ⤵ • Hard work becomes rewarding, not discouraging • Each challenge develops your skills • You're more likely to invest time and be patient 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿: Your self-talk determines your success in any field. Success requires more than talent and skills. Choose words that propel you forward, not hold you back. What do you tell yourself when things get challenging? 🎥: Thunderbird "gang signs", unique to each pilot, are a way to build camaraderie with the entire team. They also become a ritual to hype yourself up before takeoff. ------------------------ Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm a former fighter pilot turned speaker, author, and coach. If you found this helpful, consider reposting ♻️ and follow me for more content like this.

I made a swear jar for my client, but it wasn’t for swearing… It was every time she said something negative about herself. I noticed on coaching calls she called herself fat, chunky, or and put herself down, even if it was only “joking”. “I hear your frustration, but I won’t and can’t let you talk about yourself like this”. I stopped her in mid-sentence. Now, this might be an unconventional method of coaching BUT… There needed to be a mindset shift. Part of building a strong foundation for your health and wellness journey is centered around habits; creating and breaking. 🤫 I’ll tell you a secret. Your body hears what your mind is thinking, and saying. ❌ If you keep telling yourself “I’m never going to lose weight or feel uncomfortable in my skin.” ❌ “Nothing is working. I'm going to just be unhappy with my body forever.” Guess what…that is what WILL happen. You will create these thoughts. 👉Your body will follow your mind and actions. ‼️ Here are 3 Powerful Self Talk habits I implemented into my client's lifestyle, and something you can start doing today. ✅ Visualization: Picture yourself achieving your goals. Visualization can enhance motivation and create a mental image of success. ✅ Challenge Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them. Ask yourself if they’re based on facts or assumptions, and reframe them in a positive light. ✅Gratitude Practice: Focus on what you appreciate about yourself and your life. Gratitude can shift your mindset towards positivity. Remember, building powerful self-talk is a continuous practice. Consistency and patience are key to transforming your mindset. 🫶 You have to speak about yourself with kindness and the person you want to become! What are you saying about yourself? Does it align with your goals?

Confession: For years, I ignored my self-talk. Today, I live by these 5 principles👇 ——— 1️⃣ Mindset matters The more successful people I talk to, the more mindset comes up. Natural talent, effort, even skill—these factors contribute to your success. But without the right mindset, you'll never reach your full potential. Why invest in mindset work? Because it will make or break your success. ——— 2️⃣ Speak kindly "What advice would you give your best friend?" The first time I heard this reframe, it 100% changed my approach to self-talk. When helping a friend, I would NEVER be as harsh or critical as I often am with myself. Kindness. Understanding. Supportive suggestions. This is how you help others. Help yourself the same way. ——— 3️⃣ Challenge negative thoughts Negative thoughts are like weeds—if you don't pull them, they'll grow. The simplest way I've found to stop these thoughts: challenge them. "Is that really true?" This question cuts through 99% of negative thoughts. ——— 4️⃣ Set healthy boundaries I'm convinced of this... It's impossible to have positive self-talk if you spend all your time around people with negative self-talk—people who limit themselves and others. You can try to help them. But if that doesn't work, boundaries are essential. ——— 5️⃣ Practice gratitude and affirmations Gratitude and affirmations are the ultimate self-talk tools. They cut through negativity like a knife through warm butter. When you celebrate what you have and lift yourself up, it's nearly impossible to fall into the "I can't do it" mindset that comes with negative self-talk. Invest in these tools. Let them transform your way of thinking. ——— ♻️ 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 to share this with your network. 🧠 𝐉𝐨𝐢𝐧 the Develop Daily newsletter for weekly playbooks on learning, career development, and productivity.