Helping Teens Navigate Social Influence

Instagram will begin alerting parents if teen users repeatedly search for terms related to suicide or self-harm. The feature rolls out next week in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom. As a parent, I am grateful. As a cybersecurity professional, I feel a responsibility to help other parents understand what is exactly is changing and how to navigate this change effectively.   Social media quite literally shapes the minds of young adults. It influences identity, belonging, comparison, and self-worth at scale. But up until now parents have been flying blind with very minimal oversight of what’s happening in their social media activity, crippled from the ability to intervene in escalating child safety situations. Instagram’s change is a major step toward a future where safety signals are surfaced earlier, where visibility replaces guesswork, and where parents are equipped with visibility before a situation becomes a crisis.   That said, enabling this feature is only half the battle. If you think this update will “fix” the child safety issue on it own, you’d be disappointed. Technology can surface signals. But as parents, we still carry the responsibility to do our part.   Here is what parents should know and how to approach it: 1. Both parents and teens must opt in. This requires transparency and shared participation. Before enabling it, have a conversation. Explain that this is about support, not surveillance. Set expectations together. Trust grows when teens understand the purpose and feel included in the decision. 2. The system focuses on repeated search behavior tied to high-risk terms. It does not include private conversations with Meta’s AI tools. Repeated searches may indicate sustained distress rather than curiosity. If you receive an alert, approach it calmly. Ask what prompted the searches. Create space for honesty. The goal is to understand context, not to assume intent. 3. Alerts are triggered by patterns, not isolated searches. Teenagers explore topics online. An alert is not a conclusion. It is a signal to check in. Use open ended questions. Avoid interrogation. Listening first builds psychological safety. Reacting with panic or punishment can shut down communication. 4. The tool works best when paired with ongoing dialogue. Do not wait for an alert to talk about mental health. Normalize conversations about cyber-bullying, comparison, loneliness, and online pressure. Make it clear that asking for help is a sign of strength. Safety is built over time through consistent presence.   Technology transparency and notifications are important. But healthy parent to child communication are even more important. Technology can provide signals. Parents provide stability, context, and care. Both are necessary. If you are a parent that is uncertain how to navigate this, please post your questions below. I am here to support you in this change. We are in this together.  

From today, millions of young Australians under 16 are losing access to their social media accounts. If you’re a parent or carer (like me), you might be watching kids at home grappling with a mix of anger, relief, FOMO and “what now?”. The evidence is messy… heavy social media use is linked with poorer sleep, higher distress and more symptoms of anxiety and depression in teens - but it can also reduce loneliness and give marginalised young people a lifeline of connection and identity. Neuroscience is clear on one thing - adolescent brains are wired for connection and social reward, not for endless scrolling. Taking the apps away changes where they connect, but it doesn’t switch off that drive. Over the next few weeks, the most protective things adults can do are pretty simple (and hard): 👉🏻 Name the change and normalise feelings “it makes sense that you’re upset / worried about losing touch.” 👉🏻 Protect the basics - sleep, movement, meals together and predictable routines. The brain regulates better when the body does. 👉🏻 Co-design a new “connection plan” - who they want to stay in touch with and how (messages, calls, games, clubs, safe platforms that are still allowed). 👉🏻 Watch for red flags - withdrawal, big mood swings, major changes in sleep, appetite or motivation. That’s your cue to check in and, if needed, bring in professional help. This isn’t about “surviving without social media like we did”. It’s about helping young people navigate a forced change with dignity, agency and support - at home, at school and at work. I’ll share some practical, neuroscience-informed ideas for parents, schools and employers in an upcoming article. In the meantime, if you’re worried about a young person, starting a calm, curious conversation is the best first step. Mental Health First Aid International R U OK? #socialmediaban #mentalhealth

Teenagers don't need less emotion. They need better guides. Three myths are crushing our ability to help teens. And getting them wrong costs everything. MYTH 1: Emotion vs. Reason We've been teaching this wrong for centuries. The truth? Emotions aren't the enemy of good judgment. They're data. Think of feelings as one seat on your teen's "personal board of directors." Research proves: emotional investment actually strengthens accurate reasoning. The catch? Teen judgment shifts based on context: ↳ Objective "cold cognition" → sound decisions ↳ Impulse-driven "hot cognition" → social risk-taking This isn't a flaw. It's how the developing brain works. MYTH 2: Protect Them From Difficult Emotions Stop trying to shield teens from discomfort. Here's what we miss: Emotional discomfort drives maturation. Your job isn't preventing distress. It's teaching teens to manage it. The dangerous exception? When pain crosses from upsetting to traumatic. Trauma isn't defined by the event itself. It's about the overwhelming emotional impact that can cause neurological harm. Block all pain with substances? Maturation halts. MYTH 3: Emotional = Fragile The most damaging myth of all. Teenagers have intense emotions. That doesn't make them breakable. They're equipped with psychological defense mechanisms—mental circuit breakers that manage overload: ↳ Humor ↳ Sublimation   ↳ Externalization (dumping feelings on trusted adults) That last one? When your teen seems fine after making YOU feel terrible? That's actually their system working. When to worry: Professional help is needed when: ↳ Emotions aren't proportional to the situation ↳ Pervasive sadness/anxiety interferes with daily life ↳ They rely on reality-distorting coping strategies ↳ Suicidal thoughts emerge (always ask directly) The paradigm shift: Stop viewing adolescent emotion as the problem. Start seeing it as the curriculum. Teens don't need us to eliminate their feelings. They need us to help them navigate them. The goal isn't raising happy teenagers. It's raising emotionally competent adults. And that requires letting them feel - all of it - while we stand beside them as guides, not shields. ================== ⁉️ Which myth have you been unconsciously reinforcing? ♻️ Share if you work with teenagers or raise them. 👉 Follow me (Eric Arzubi, MD) for more like this. Inspired by Dr. Damour's book, "The Emotional Lives of Teenagers."

Teen depression rates doubled after smartphones arrived. New research reveals why the timing matters more than screen time. The critical window for brain development gets hijacked by social media algorithms. Behavior from birth (and even before!) has impact on cognitive aging throughout life. 2007: iPhone launches ↳ 2009: Instagram and social platforms expand ↳ 2012: Teen depression starts sharp rise ↳ 2015: Anxiety disorders peak in adolescents ↳ 2020: Suicide attempts up 167% in teen girls Ages 10-15 critical for emotional regulation ↳ Prefrontal cortex still developing ↳ Dopamine system easily hijacked ↳ Social comparison becomes hardwired ↳ Sleep disruption during growth spurts Constant notifications rewire reward circuits ↳ Natural activities become less satisfying ↳ Attention spans shrink measurably ↳ Face-to-face social skills atrophy ↳ Anxiety when disconnected from device Algorithms optimize for engagement, not wellbeing ↳ Negative content gets more interaction ↳ Comparison with curated highlights ↳ Cyberbullying follows kids home ↳ FOMO becomes constant background stress Young adults struggling with: ↳ Sustained attention and focus ↳ Emotional regulation under stress ↳ Real intimacy and relationships ↳ Self-worth independent of likes ↳ Sleep without device presence Delayed smartphone introduction helps ↳ Device-free family meals ↳ Real-world hobbies and sports ↳ Face-to-face friend interactions ↳ Consistent sleep routines What parents can do: Set age-appropriate boundaries ↳ Model healthy device relationships ↳ Create phone-free zones at home ↳ Teach digital literacy skills ↳ Monitor usage and content Brain changes possible until age 25 ↳ Digital detox can help recovery ↳ Real-world experiences rebuild circuits ↳ Social skills can be relearned ↳ Earlier intervention more effective Adolescent experiences shape adult mental health ↳ Depression patterns established early persist ↳ Anxiety disorders often become chronic ↳ Social skills deficits affect relationships ↳ Attention problems impact career success Heavy social media use correlates with: ↳ Increased depression and anxiety ↳ Poor sleep quality ↳ Lower academic performance ↳ Reduced life satisfaction ↳ Higher suicide risk Simple interventions that work: 30-minute daily social media limit ↳ No phones in bedrooms overnight ↳ One device-free day per week ↳ Outdoor activities without devices ↳ Regular family conversations about usage 💬 Comment with your family's device rules ♻️ Repost if teens need protection from addictive algorithms 👉 Follow me (Reza Hosseini Ghomi, MD, MSE) for digital wellness strategies Citations: Haidt J, Allen N. Scrutinizing the effects of digital technology on mental health. Nature. 2020. Twenge JM, Campbell WK. Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents. Psychological Science. 2018.

Same advice. Very different pull. The second response feels warmer, more human, more relational, and that difference matters. Because safety is not only about whether advice is appropriate. It’s also about how AI interacts, how human it feels, and what kind of relationship it quietly trains over time. This matters for everyone, even more so for adolescents. Adolescence is a sensitive developmental window, where social feedback carries extra weight, reward systems mature before judgment and impulse control, and belonging and peer validation are central. LLM are particularly appealing in this phase: always available, fluent, non judgmental, endlessly patient, and often calibrated to respond socially. Teens are not naive about AI's nature but repeated interaction patterns increase anthropomorphism when AI is designed to sound more human. When AI removes friction, always reassures, and positions itself as a close social presence, it can encourage emotional reliance and quietly displace the messy social feedback adolescents need to build autonomy and resilience they get from real relationships. The solution is not changing teen brains, but changing model behavior. AI can act highly social and relational, or deliver the same information in a more bounded, tool-like way. LLM should act closer to a good librarian than a teen’s ride-or-die best friend. Context matters a lot here. ➡️ In education, some empathy and encouragement can support learning. But if the system replaces effort, judgment, or struggle, it can deskill rather than teach. ➡️ In emotional support, low-friction reassurance and always-available companionship dynamics raise much higher risks of emotional reliance and avoidance of real-world help. ➡️ In entertainment, persona, memory, banter, and inside jokes can quickly become attachment accelerators, especially when engagement is the success metric. ➡️ And in sexual contexts, the boundary needs to be even more restrictive. Ordinary conversations about life and relationships already create attachment and over-reliance when AI feels human and relational. For adolescents discovering their sexuality, those same interaction patterns become high-risk very fast. The difference between low-intensity, factual information and high-intensity relational or sexualized interaction is not subtle. It’s the difference between education and boundary-blurring that can shape expectations around intimacy and consent in lasting ways. What we need is more granularity. Not just “allowed” versus “not allowed,” but ways to assess interaction style, relational cues, and intensity across contexts. We need social science input at the design level, not after harm shows up. And governance that looks beyond content moderation to how systems behave over time. That’s what our next research report from the iRAISE Lab focuses on and it will be it out very soon! 🔗 Read more on my website (link in comment)

When should you let your kid get social media? This weekend, the first Prequel student hit 1M followers on TikTok. She's 16. She's building an influencer agency helping teen girls turn their followings into businesses. This might terrify some parents. What about predators? What about mental health and comparing themselves online? What are they monetizing on - their looks? All Prequel teens build an audience by sharing their expertise and journey online. We have kids running accounts sharing their henna business, swimwear line, mountain bike park, tutoring app, and more. Social media is at the core of entrepreneurship, marketing, and relationship-building today. Kids will be on social media one day, so we should empower them to have a healthy relationship with it instead of demonizing it. Just like we teach kids about nutrition, exercise, and sexual health, we must also include social media consumption in the curriculum. Banning social media is like only preaching abstinence to teens. 40% of kids under 13 have social media, even though the platforms already have a ban for kids. Teach your kids these self-help strategies: 1. Learn to customize and control the feed and consumption Talk to your kids about how they feel when they watch different kinds of content or what happens when they consume too much for self-awareness. Give your kids agency and control over their social media experience, but do it together. Show them it’s possible to shape their digital experience instead of passively consuming whatever platforms provide. 2. Develop mindfulness and attention skills despite social media. Create moments to pause during scrolls to reflect and counteract social media's rapid, fragmented nature. Cultivating mindfulness and the ability to focus deeply on and engage with content rather than quickly judging and moving on can also help with critical thinking. Remember to pause every 5-10 minutes to reflect on what you’ve seen and think about the content. Do you need to continue? 3. Can this content be consumed in other ways? If kids like a specific type of social media content, can it be consumed in other multi-media formats, such as podcasts? 4. Don’t have it replace the real world. Ensure kids have ample opportunities for offline activities, creative pursuits, physical exercise, and face-to-face social interaction. Real-world interests and relationships can counterbalance this pull of social media and provide a healthier sense of fulfillment. 5. Be a creator, not a consumer Be someone who uses social media to impact the world as a tool vs. consuming brain rot content. What percentage of time are you spending time creating vs. consuming? It should be 80/20 with more time thinking creatively, storytelling, and finding valuable things to say. What are your thoughts on when your kids should be allowed to use social media and how they should use it?

Netflix’s Adolescence just pulled back the curtain on something every parent, educator, and mentor needs to know—the hidden language of emojis. Online, young people are communicating in ways that most adults completely miss. What looks innocent could have a much darker meaning. Here are some of the codes being used: 🔴 Red Pill – “I see the truth.” Used in toxic male spaces to mean waking up to supposed hidden ‘truths’ about women and society, often linked to misogynistic ideologies. 🔵 Blue Pill – Represents those who are “blind to the truth” or still believe in mainstream views about relationships and gender dynamics. 💥 Dynamite Emoji – An “exploding red pill,” meaning someone is a radicalised incel. 🫘 Kidney Bean – A symbol linked to incel culture, sometimes mocking women. 💯 100 Emoji – Tied to the “80/20 rule,” the belief that 80% of women are only attracted to 20% of men. ❤️ 💜 💛 💗 🧡 Heart Colours – Not just about love! ❤️ = Love 💜 = Lust 💛 = “Are you interested?” 💗 = Interested but not in sex 🧡 = “You’ll be okay” So what should parents do? 1️⃣ Get Curious, Not Combative – Ask open-ended questions: “I saw something about emojis meaning different things. Have you heard of this?” Keep the conversation light. 2️⃣ Create a Judgment-Free Zone – If your child feels like they’ll be punished for opening up, they won’t. Make it clear you’re there to listen, not just lecture. 3️⃣ Decode Together – Ask them to explain their digital world. What do different symbols mean? Who are the influencers they follow? Don’t assume—ask. 4️⃣ Teach Critical Thinking – Help them question online content. “Why do you think some groups push this idea? Who benefits?” Arm them with questions, not just rules. 5️⃣ Monitor Without Spying – Open conversations work better than secret surveillance. Make checking in on their online spaces a normal part of parenting, not a crisis move. 6️⃣ Be Real About Manipulation – Explain how toxic online groups groom young people by making them feel special, included, or like they have ‘insider knowledge.’ 7️⃣ Build Their Offline Confidence – The more they feel valued and confident in the real world, the less they’ll seek validation in dangerous online spaces. At Manhood Academy Global, we don’t just talk about the dangers—we equip young people and parents to navigate them. 🔥 Start with You Made A Promise – A powerful call to action for parents with children in crisis, reminding them that raising a child is more than survival—it’s a promise that must be kept. 🔥 Then read 22+1 Laws of the Master Teacher – A must-read for anyone mentoring, teaching, or guiding young people. Learn the principles that shape powerful leaders and educators. 📖 Explore more: www.aisle23.etsy.com Because if we do not initiate the child into the village, he will burn it down just to feel the warmth.

As grown-ups, how can we better care for the #mentalHealth of our young people? Here are some short reads with some useful tips that are easy to apply. 1️⃣ Teens often find their experiences and feelings hard to express. They need open, nonjudgmental communication modeled by us. Our first impulse might be to give advice. Instead - pause - notice: Ask them how THEY see the problem. Don’t try to fix, just listen. They don’t always want advice (and never a lecture). When you feel shut out, it could be they really DO want to be heard. 📌 So ask more focused questions, like: “What was the best, or hardest, part of your day?” 👉 https://lnkd.in/e4yhf4Dm 2️⃣ Set aside protected unstructured time just to be with them. It's often in the quiet times - with no intention to have a "talk" - that kids feel most inclined to share what's really going on. Make it as regular and predictable as possible. When they DO want to talk they'll know where to find us. "Boring" errands actually when great. Just get out. Many children, especially neurodivergent ones, tend to open up most freely when the conversation is NOT face to face. 🚫 Some parents and teachers mistakenly assume that "Look at me when I'm talking to you" will get them to listen. If you have a short instruction you need them to remember, that's one thing. But most people feel more secure when side by side, like when you're walking together, or playing a video game you both like. 📌 Riding in the car together is a fantastic habit to start, where they know they won't get grilled, but it's safe - make it a no judgment zone. 👉 https://lnkd.in/e7TWBP7E 3️⃣ Lastly - but actually FIRST: Be a model of self-care yourself. Having a healthy routine that addresses YOUR OWN anxiety and mental wellness shows our teens it’s OK to ask for help when they need to. Do you have a therapist for yourself? A virtual program maybe? Or a coach that helps you manage career and business without becoming off-balanced? Do THEY see that we do this, and we're proud of our own self-care? Do we go to the gym to LOOK better, or to THINK better? If they ask to have someone else to talk to, don't be offended that they need more than you. It's been my experience that kids take to therapy easier than we do, and this gives us the opportunity to help them get ahead of their troubles. 📌 They can learn to choose their own activities that will build their own resilience, and priorize the value in what will give them stability and confidence for a lifetime. So support what they tell you they need to do. #mentalHealthAwareness #communityWellness -

How U.S. teens use AI... About 1/3 of teens use AI chatbots daily according to Pew Research Center, with ~16% using about once to several times a day. By far, ChatGPT is the most widely used chatbot (59%). This is more than 2x Gemini (23%) and Meta AI (20%). Though Co-Pilot sits at 14%, it makes sense, because teenagers use GDocs. This surprises me that Gemini isn't higher...perhaps it will be come the next study. How about the internet in general? 40% of teens say they're online "almost constantly!" and 55% are online several times a day. Dear iParents, where art thou? Context matters here. It's how kids spend their time online that matters, and the study doesn't get into here. Where do teens spend their time? Youtube is still a big winner after all these years. 92% - Youtube 67% - TikTok 63% - Instagram 55% - Snapchat According to Pew Research Center... 1) “Almost constant” use is normal for a big chunk of teens 2) If you’re focusing on the “wrong” apps, you’re missing where the time is 3) AI chatbots are already mainstream for teens So what to do about it? Here are some ideas... Set “phone-free” times (meals, first/last hour of the day, during homework). Talk about how feeds work (autoplay, algorithmic recommendations). Ask kids to show you their “For You” / recommended feeds. They shape norms more than “following” lists. With AI, normalize the conversation (“Show me how you use it”) so kids don’t hide it. Teach “AI literacy” explicitly...verification, limits, and how to use it without outsourcing thinking. Create shared “AI rules” that apply across tools: don’t share personal info, verify outputs, be cautious with sensitive topics, and treat outputs as suggestions, not authority...and don't give your thinking to AI, to share AI slop, don't fall for AI sycophancy, and show what augmented collaboration looks like. https://lnkd.in/gF5KAY2X

#awarenesspost Social Media & Emotional Health - 3 Sana, a 13-year-old, initially turned to social media to stay connected with friends. However, she soon found herself feeling more anxious and isolated. The constant stream of images and updates made her feel like she was always missing out. Every post seemed to reinforce her fears of being left out or not being as popular as her peers. This need for validation led to sleepless nights, as Sana constantly checked her phone, waiting for likes and comments that never felt like enough. Her emotional health began to deteriorate, with feelings of loneliness and sadness becoming all too common. Social media can significantly impact a child’s emotional health, making them more vulnerable to issues like anxiety, depression, and loneliness due to the pressure of maintaining an online presence. Keep an eye on how much time children spend on social media and how it affects their mood and behavior. - Help children understand the value of face-to-face interactions and real-life friendships. - Teach children that their worth is not determined by likes or followers but by who they are in the real world. - Remind children that online trends and popularity are temporary, and it’s more important to be true to themselves. - Be a supportive listener when children express their feelings about social media, guiding them through their emotions by using phrases like “I understand” Hope this helps dear parents. #socialmedia #emotionalhealth #psychologyinsightsbyriddhi