Preparing Children for Social Media

When should you let your kid get social media? This weekend, the first Prequel student hit 1M followers on TikTok. She's 16. She's building an influencer agency helping teen girls turn their followings into businesses. This might terrify some parents. What about predators? What about mental health and comparing themselves online? What are they monetizing on - their looks? All Prequel teens build an audience by sharing their expertise and journey online. We have kids running accounts sharing their henna business, swimwear line, mountain bike park, tutoring app, and more. Social media is at the core of entrepreneurship, marketing, and relationship-building today. Kids will be on social media one day, so we should empower them to have a healthy relationship with it instead of demonizing it. Just like we teach kids about nutrition, exercise, and sexual health, we must also include social media consumption in the curriculum. Banning social media is like only preaching abstinence to teens. 40% of kids under 13 have social media, even though the platforms already have a ban for kids. Teach your kids these self-help strategies: 1. Learn to customize and control the feed and consumption Talk to your kids about how they feel when they watch different kinds of content or what happens when they consume too much for self-awareness. Give your kids agency and control over their social media experience, but do it together. Show them it’s possible to shape their digital experience instead of passively consuming whatever platforms provide. 2. Develop mindfulness and attention skills despite social media. Create moments to pause during scrolls to reflect and counteract social media's rapid, fragmented nature. Cultivating mindfulness and the ability to focus deeply on and engage with content rather than quickly judging and moving on can also help with critical thinking. Remember to pause every 5-10 minutes to reflect on what you’ve seen and think about the content. Do you need to continue? 3. Can this content be consumed in other ways? If kids like a specific type of social media content, can it be consumed in other multi-media formats, such as podcasts? 4. Don’t have it replace the real world. Ensure kids have ample opportunities for offline activities, creative pursuits, physical exercise, and face-to-face social interaction. Real-world interests and relationships can counterbalance this pull of social media and provide a healthier sense of fulfillment. 5. Be a creator, not a consumer Be someone who uses social media to impact the world as a tool vs. consuming brain rot content. What percentage of time are you spending time creating vs. consuming? It should be 80/20 with more time thinking creatively, storytelling, and finding valuable things to say. What are your thoughts on when your kids should be allowed to use social media and how they should use it?

Instagram will begin alerting parents if teen users repeatedly search for terms related to suicide or self-harm. The feature rolls out next week in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom. As a parent, I am grateful. As a cybersecurity professional, I feel a responsibility to help other parents understand what is exactly is changing and how to navigate this change effectively.   Social media quite literally shapes the minds of young adults. It influences identity, belonging, comparison, and self-worth at scale. But up until now parents have been flying blind with very minimal oversight of what’s happening in their social media activity, crippled from the ability to intervene in escalating child safety situations. Instagram’s change is a major step toward a future where safety signals are surfaced earlier, where visibility replaces guesswork, and where parents are equipped with visibility before a situation becomes a crisis.   That said, enabling this feature is only half the battle. If you think this update will “fix” the child safety issue on it own, you’d be disappointed. Technology can surface signals. But as parents, we still carry the responsibility to do our part.   Here is what parents should know and how to approach it: 1. Both parents and teens must opt in. This requires transparency and shared participation. Before enabling it, have a conversation. Explain that this is about support, not surveillance. Set expectations together. Trust grows when teens understand the purpose and feel included in the decision. 2. The system focuses on repeated search behavior tied to high-risk terms. It does not include private conversations with Meta’s AI tools. Repeated searches may indicate sustained distress rather than curiosity. If you receive an alert, approach it calmly. Ask what prompted the searches. Create space for honesty. The goal is to understand context, not to assume intent. 3. Alerts are triggered by patterns, not isolated searches. Teenagers explore topics online. An alert is not a conclusion. It is a signal to check in. Use open ended questions. Avoid interrogation. Listening first builds psychological safety. Reacting with panic or punishment can shut down communication. 4. The tool works best when paired with ongoing dialogue. Do not wait for an alert to talk about mental health. Normalize conversations about cyber-bullying, comparison, loneliness, and online pressure. Make it clear that asking for help is a sign of strength. Safety is built over time through consistent presence.   Technology transparency and notifications are important. But healthy parent to child communication are even more important. Technology can provide signals. Parents provide stability, context, and care. Both are necessary. If you are a parent that is uncertain how to navigate this, please post your questions below. I am here to support you in this change. We are in this together.  

Teen depression rates doubled after smartphones arrived. New research reveals why the timing matters more than screen time. The critical window for brain development gets hijacked by social media algorithms. Behavior from birth (and even before!) has impact on cognitive aging throughout life. 2007: iPhone launches ↳ 2009: Instagram and social platforms expand ↳ 2012: Teen depression starts sharp rise ↳ 2015: Anxiety disorders peak in adolescents ↳ 2020: Suicide attempts up 167% in teen girls Ages 10-15 critical for emotional regulation ↳ Prefrontal cortex still developing ↳ Dopamine system easily hijacked ↳ Social comparison becomes hardwired ↳ Sleep disruption during growth spurts Constant notifications rewire reward circuits ↳ Natural activities become less satisfying ↳ Attention spans shrink measurably ↳ Face-to-face social skills atrophy ↳ Anxiety when disconnected from device Algorithms optimize for engagement, not wellbeing ↳ Negative content gets more interaction ↳ Comparison with curated highlights ↳ Cyberbullying follows kids home ↳ FOMO becomes constant background stress Young adults struggling with: ↳ Sustained attention and focus ↳ Emotional regulation under stress ↳ Real intimacy and relationships ↳ Self-worth independent of likes ↳ Sleep without device presence Delayed smartphone introduction helps ↳ Device-free family meals ↳ Real-world hobbies and sports ↳ Face-to-face friend interactions ↳ Consistent sleep routines What parents can do: Set age-appropriate boundaries ↳ Model healthy device relationships ↳ Create phone-free zones at home ↳ Teach digital literacy skills ↳ Monitor usage and content Brain changes possible until age 25 ↳ Digital detox can help recovery ↳ Real-world experiences rebuild circuits ↳ Social skills can be relearned ↳ Earlier intervention more effective Adolescent experiences shape adult mental health ↳ Depression patterns established early persist ↳ Anxiety disorders often become chronic ↳ Social skills deficits affect relationships ↳ Attention problems impact career success Heavy social media use correlates with: ↳ Increased depression and anxiety ↳ Poor sleep quality ↳ Lower academic performance ↳ Reduced life satisfaction ↳ Higher suicide risk Simple interventions that work: 30-minute daily social media limit ↳ No phones in bedrooms overnight ↳ One device-free day per week ↳ Outdoor activities without devices ↳ Regular family conversations about usage 💬 Comment with your family's device rules ♻️ Repost if teens need protection from addictive algorithms 👉 Follow me (Reza Hosseini Ghomi, MD, MSE) for digital wellness strategies Citations: Haidt J, Allen N. Scrutinizing the effects of digital technology on mental health. Nature. 2020. Twenge JM, Campbell WK. Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents. Psychological Science. 2018.

Are we overprotecting kids in the real world while underprotecting them online? Jonathan Haidt dives into this big question in “The Anxious Generation,” a must-read for anyone raising kids worried about their children’s smartphone habits and social media use. Haidt argues that being too cautious in the real world while leaving kids unprotected online has left them struggling with anxiety, depression, and loneliness. He calls the years between 2010 and 2015 the "Great Rewiring of Childhood", when children became the first generation to go through adolescence with smartphones leading to 5 foundational harms: 1. Opportunity cost: 7-9 hours/day on devices 2. Sleep deprivation: rates have surged since 2013 3. Social deprivation: time with friends down 65% since 2010 4. Attention fragmentation: the constant pull of notifications 5. Addiction to dopamine hits: likes, retweets, and comments become the currency of self-worth The book is a wake-up call for anyone raising kids or concerned about the role of technology and social media in their lives. It’s packed with research and practical strategies to help families and communities reverse these trends. Haidt’s solutions to escape collective action traps: -No smartphones before high school -No social media before age 16 -Phone-free schools (e.g. phone lockers) -Encourage independence, free play, and real-world responsibility In the past, bold moves were made to protect kids, like introducing car seat laws and banning smoking in schools in the late 1970s. Will we one day see similar action to address the impact of social media?

Babies aren’t born depressed, anxious or suicidal, but increasingly large numbers of our youth are. Why? I believe the answer to so much of this epidemic can fit in a little 3 by 5 inch device, their phones. Many kids are living a double life online. A life they don’t want adults to know about. We’ve got two kids, 21 and 16, I firmly believe this is the hardest time to parent that we’ve ever faced. Kids are dying. Suicide due to sextortion and online bullying. Children are sending and receiving inappropriate (illegal) photos and videos. Some with people they know. Other kids send these photos to strangers who demand money or they tell kids they will share these photos with family, friends and schools. Some kids, in a desperate panic, kill themselves. Teens are overdosing on pills purchased on Snapchat. It’s happening in my community and it’s happening in yours. What can we do? Talk to your kids early and often. Have conversations about suicide, drugs, sex, the illegalities of sending and receiving photos without their clothes on, catfishing and sextortion. Talk about terms like Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby and online predators. Did you know elementary school aged kids are offered money for photos online? If they have any social media it’s common. Watch the Hulu documentary Social Studies. Talk to your kids and their friends about it. If topics in the above paragraphs are too uncomfortable for you to discuss with your kids… they are not ready to have a phone, computer or tablet. Because they will be exposed to it all. Try this with your kid. Ask them for their phone tonight. Look at their photos together, their apps and their chats. If they freak out, if they won’t let you look, that is your sign to dig deeper. If your kid isolates in their room with their phone or computer, dig deeper. Our kids desperately crave connection. They want and need validation. We need to be that conduit for them. Not strangers behind their screens. Big tech is not going to keep our kids safe. But we need to do everything in our power as parents to try.

As a child psychiatrist and a parent, I’m not here to shame technology. But I am here to advocate for our kids’ developing brains. We think of smartphones as just part of growing up now. But for kids, especially the youngest ones, they’re quietly reshaping how they handle emotions and understand who they are. The earlier and more compulsively they’re used, the greater the disruption to healthy development. Raising kids in a digital world is hard enough. Caregivers need more support, not fear—real facts, practical strategies, and a little reassurance go a long way. ✅ Wait until after age 14 – Younger brains aren't built to handle the emotional and cognitive impact of constant connectivity. ✅ Set boundaries early – Create tech-free zones around meals, bedtime, and schoolwork to build healthy habits. ✅ Check in emotionally – Instead of just asking how much, ask how it made them feel. Anxious? Lonely? Happy? ✅ Encourage real-world play and connection – Free play, outdoor time, and face-to-face connection are powerful buffers for mental health. The digital world isn’t going away, but with the right tools and timing, families can make it a safer place for kids to grow up. Read more from @U.S. News & World Report: https://lnkd.in/gGhrGY9a

I’m proud to have contributed my expertise to this new Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development guide on child development and media use during middle childhood (ages 6–11). One key message I emphasized in the article is that starting conversations with kids from a place of fear or judgment is a fast way to shut communication down. When parents suspect a rule around content or media use has been broken, it’s far more effective to gather information calmly rather than assuming bad intent. Research consistently shows that overly restrictive or punitive mediation often backfires, leading to more secrecy and rule-breaking—like kids finding ways to access devices behind their parents’ backs. Instead, I advocate for a slow, scaffolded approach to digital access: * Open the internet to children in small, developmentally appropriate doses Increase responsibility gradually as skills and judgment grow * Focus on where you want your child to be as a teen or young adult—not just where they are today * Parents can also think of media use through an apprenticeship approach, such as allowing limited access to a parent’s own accounts before a child creates their own. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s helping kids learn to manage risk while trust and guidance are still present. 📘 You can read the full guide here: https://lnkd.in/emAUGzYQ If we want young adults who are thoughtful, responsible digital citizens, we need to start teaching those skills early—and thoughtfully. #DigitalParenting #ChildDevelopment #MediaLiteracy #ParentingResearch #KidsAndTechnology

I recently spoke with WTOP News about new research showing that kids who get #smartphones by age 12 face higher risks of #depression, #poorsleep, and #obesity. The #NIH-funded study followed 10,000+ adolescents and found that earlier ownership alone, even without measuring screen time, was linked to worse outcomes. As I shared during the interview, delaying smartphone use, especially during middle school , can help support healthier development. When families do introduce phones, thoughtful guidance matters. Here are some key takeaways for parents and caregivers: ➡️Prioritize sleep-Keep phones out of bedrooms to prevent late-night scrolling and texting. ➡️Start slow-Consider basic or limited-function phones before fully app-enabled devices. ➡️Set expectations early-Establish clear rules for homework time, mealtimes, and tech-free periods. ➡️Use built-in protections-Privacy settings and parental controls can help limit exposure and manage time. ➡️Check in regularly-Make conversations about digital habits and mental health ongoing. ➡️Model #healthybehavior-Kids follow our lead, putting our own phones down is one of the most powerful signals we can send. (I know this is not easy, but it's important). As an ambassador for the American Academy of Pediatrics Center for Excellence on Youth Mental Health and Social Media, I encourage families to explore the AAP’s evidence-based resources to guide conversations at home You can find the full WTOP interview here! https://lnkd.in/e-RRaFRS Children's National Hospital Annie Ham Kathryn Aquilina Megan Moreno

Netflix’s Adolescence just pulled back the curtain on something every parent, educator, and mentor needs to know—the hidden language of emojis. Online, young people are communicating in ways that most adults completely miss. What looks innocent could have a much darker meaning. Here are some of the codes being used: 🔴 Red Pill – “I see the truth.” Used in toxic male spaces to mean waking up to supposed hidden ‘truths’ about women and society, often linked to misogynistic ideologies. 🔵 Blue Pill – Represents those who are “blind to the truth” or still believe in mainstream views about relationships and gender dynamics. 💥 Dynamite Emoji – An “exploding red pill,” meaning someone is a radicalised incel. 🫘 Kidney Bean – A symbol linked to incel culture, sometimes mocking women. 💯 100 Emoji – Tied to the “80/20 rule,” the belief that 80% of women are only attracted to 20% of men. ❤️ 💜 💛 💗 🧡 Heart Colours – Not just about love! ❤️ = Love 💜 = Lust 💛 = “Are you interested?” 💗 = Interested but not in sex 🧡 = “You’ll be okay” So what should parents do? 1️⃣ Get Curious, Not Combative – Ask open-ended questions: “I saw something about emojis meaning different things. Have you heard of this?” Keep the conversation light. 2️⃣ Create a Judgment-Free Zone – If your child feels like they’ll be punished for opening up, they won’t. Make it clear you’re there to listen, not just lecture. 3️⃣ Decode Together – Ask them to explain their digital world. What do different symbols mean? Who are the influencers they follow? Don’t assume—ask. 4️⃣ Teach Critical Thinking – Help them question online content. “Why do you think some groups push this idea? Who benefits?” Arm them with questions, not just rules. 5️⃣ Monitor Without Spying – Open conversations work better than secret surveillance. Make checking in on their online spaces a normal part of parenting, not a crisis move. 6️⃣ Be Real About Manipulation – Explain how toxic online groups groom young people by making them feel special, included, or like they have ‘insider knowledge.’ 7️⃣ Build Their Offline Confidence – The more they feel valued and confident in the real world, the less they’ll seek validation in dangerous online spaces. At Manhood Academy Global, we don’t just talk about the dangers—we equip young people and parents to navigate them. 🔥 Start with You Made A Promise – A powerful call to action for parents with children in crisis, reminding them that raising a child is more than survival—it’s a promise that must be kept. 🔥 Then read 22+1 Laws of the Master Teacher – A must-read for anyone mentoring, teaching, or guiding young people. Learn the principles that shape powerful leaders and educators. 📖 Explore more: www.aisle23.etsy.com Because if we do not initiate the child into the village, he will burn it down just to feel the warmth.

Parents, Educators, and Community Leaders,   One of the most impactful ways we can protect our children is by staying informed and being proactive about the risks they face online.   There is a troubling rise in violent online groups actively targeting young people — not just through typical cyberbullying, but by coercing them into deeply harmful actions. These groups are exploiting platforms we often see as harmless: social media, gaming apps, and messaging services.   What can you do? 1. Set clear boundaries around internet usage. 2. Communicate — talk regularly with your child about the risks of interacting with strangers online. 3. Be aware of what your child is sharing — know which apps they’re using and what content they’re engaging with. 4. Stay involved — actively monitor your child’s digital presence. Take a moment to watch the attached video — it sheds light on this growing online threat and what more we can do to stop it. #parents #PSA #FBI #internetsafety #cyber #education #community #lawenforcement