McSweeney's Internet Tendency

“We used to spend months figuring out how to make racism look like a perfectly legitimate concern about municipal governance. But watching the modern Republican Party practice its particular brand of political advertising, I sometimes wonder whether we inadvertently inspired a generation of young men who mistook our lack of conscience for a lack of imagination.”

“I don’t mean to sound old fashioned, but I just don’t get the appeal of having a romantic relationship with AI. If you want to interact with someone with vague intentions and the prospect of nonthreatening romantic tension, do the proper thing and message your high school ex-boyfriends instead.”

2026 marks the thirtieth anniversary of the original “Scream” movie. The blockbuster is a horror classic and has spawned a franchise that continues to produce new installments to this day, but its original screenplay would have produced a film totally unrecognizable to those who know and love “Scream.” For the first time, we’re publishing the opening scene of the script before it was revised to meet studio notes.

“Some women have health. Others, not so much. This is due to the varying fluoride levels in tap water.”

“Please accept all 217 cookies. I know it sounds like a lot. But hey, some of them aren’t even mine. Sixteen are for my parent company. Two are for a marketing vendor that closed in 2017.”