1. Dating platforms are all about digital communication, so getting back out there on an app might feel natural to you. What might frustrate others about the experience– the occasional long lead up to in-person quality time – might not bother you at all.

2. You live in the middle of nowhere, right? That builds in some space. Set your geographical boundaries for 60 or 70 miles from home. If your place is in Waitsfield (I hope I’m not guessing right) and you date someone in Burlington, you will get your alone time.

3. Years ago, a friend told me that one of the pleasures of being with her husband was that she could feel alone, even if he was there. She could also feel partnered, entertained, and like she was with a great friend, but if she wanted to be by herself and read a book, his presence allowed for that. That’s one of the reasons she knew he was good for her; she could be introverted in a corner and not have to feel like she was disappointing anyone. He understood her desire for quiet. They could entertain themselves and be social when they were ready.

By the way, I asked this woman about her marriage because I was worried about my own ability to trade love for quiet time. I do believe what she said – and it makes sense; a great partner for you will make room for your need for solitude. I’ll add that as much as a wonderful partner makes it feel OK to be quiet, they might also know you well enough to pull you out of your comfort zone on occasion to say, “It’s been a lot of silence for you. Let’s go out together and make some noise.” Noise can be very good, too.

– Meredith

Readers? Advice for dating in remote areas? Advice for dating when you also like to be alone and don’t want to risk your quiet time and peace?

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